NICOLE KOBIE
If you’re going to make me do a video call, you’re going to have to learn some etiquette first
If you’re going to make me do a video call, you’re going to have to learn some etiquette first – and never use old-fashioned Skype.
The world of work shifted to remote in March, and that meant videoconferencing.
Skype et al existed before, of course, but most of my interviews and meetings in the before times were still conducted via a phone call. That’s convenient for me, because I can check notes while y’all yammer on, I need not brush my hair first and I can phone from anywhere – including but not limited to Prets, train stations, friends’ flats and once even a ski hill.
Nowadays, instead of trying to find a quiet place to sneak in a work call before returning to more fun pursuits, I change my shirt to something with a collar and rearrange the room visible in the background so I can fake being a professional to the often distinguished people whose days I interrupt with questions (including Nobel Prize winner Jennifer Doudna, but she’s a genius so spoke on the phone).
Every call, it’s a different app. I had a day this week with five calls in my calendar. The first was on Google Meet, the next on Microsoft Teams, followed by Skype and Zoom. Thankfully, the last was a good oldfashioned phone call, which was ideal as my face was at this point broken from smiling and nodding.
If we’re going to continue like this, it’s time for video-calling etiquette. Let’s start with timeliness: don’t be late for a call, as then I have to make small talk with other participants. When I do so on the phone, I can relieve the irritation of being asked for the ten-millionth time “you don’t sound British, what part of the US are you from?” by making faces at my dog. (She sleeps through these performances, but I enjoy them.)
On the other hand, please don’t mind if I’m a few minutes late – because it is never my fault. I’m always ready to go five minutes ahead of every call, prepared with notes and my most friendly face. If I’m late, it’s the fault of the technology. On the day of my unplanned video call app group test, Microsoft Teams opened with a window offering a set of inexplicable choices, one of which directed me to the installed app… which didn’t work because the camera was already open in that first window. I closed them, re-clicked the link and apologised for being late even though I didn’t feel sorry – instead, I felt like chucking my laptop out of the window.
Another point of etiquette: when booking a call with someone, tell them in advance if you’d like to use video or not. I always go in with video on, because I assume that’s the point of a video call. But then I’m faced with a screen full of names or initials – or worse, frozen headshots of people I’ll never meet – and have to awkwardly turn off my video. Plus, in the expectation of someone being able to see me, I did my hair and make-up and cleaned up the room. Now, all that effort, not to mention concealer and dry shampoo, was wasted.
That said, if you can see my so-called office, don’t pass comment, even to compliment. Do you walk into a boardroom critiquing the wallpaper? It’s more polite to pretend you can’t see what’s behind me (unless it’s a serial killer brandishing a knife, in which case please do speak up).
Even worse than video on/off confusion is the call that starts with video and slowly becomes just a voice call. One such meeting I virtually attended had five other people in it. It’s standard practice for public relations professionals to sit in on a call but mute themselves, so it’s reasonable for them to also turn off their video after introductions. But then so did one of the other attendees. And then another. Until it was just me and one man with our faces front and centre, being stared at by all the others. What else could I do? I cracked and also turned off my video, leaving this lone gent as the only thing on everyone’s screens. He stuck it out for the rest of the call. So brave.
One last request. Stop using Skype. I’m sorry Microsoft, I know you paid a lot for it, but the audio always gets that weird digital bend to it due to the terrible compression. Using Skype in January was acceptable, but now we know of Zoom, with its tools for rearranging windows, muting other attendees and “touching up” one’s appearance, not to mention its ability to stream video without constantly modulating speech beyond comprehension.
If you’re still on Skype, you’re as out of date as a Hotmail user a month after Gmail landed. And if you’re still forced by your IT department to use Skype rather than a technologically superior alternative, send them this column so they know they’re making their employer seem inflexible in the face of changing times — and that’s not a good look these days.
I apologised for being late even though I didn’t feel sorry – instead, I felt like chucking my laptop out of the window
I also turned off my video, leaving this lone gent as the only thing on everyone’s screens. He stuck it out for the rest of the call. So brave