MAR K PARVIN
In this month’s guest column, Mark tackles simple fixes, explores his dad’s approach to scammers and wrestles with laptop RAM
In this month’s guest column, Mark tackles simple fixes, explores his dad’s approach to scammers and wrestles with laptop RAM.
The saying “there’s nowt so queer as folk” has been rattling around my head these past weeks. In my job, this often means customers not fully understanding how their devices work, and it makes for some fascinating conversations.
A great example of this comes from Steve. A regular customer, he rang to say he couldn’t get the internet on his iPad. Whenever possible, I always try to offer help over the phone before I book a visit, and my first piece of advice to Steve was to turn his router off and on. That in itself can be an interesting experience, as people rarely know what a router is. “It’s the box near your phone with some lights on it” usually does the trick, but Steve remained confused. He couldn’t find an illuminated box, but finally came across a black thing with TalkTalk written on it. I explained that’s his router and there should be something shining from it. He assured me it was dark, so I suggested checking he hadn’t accidentally switched it off. At this point, Steve told me he was having work done on the house, and the electricity was off. He also mentioned he was gagging for a cup of tea.
I politely explained that the router needs to be powered and working for the iPad to get the internet. Unfortunately, Steve still couldn’t grasp the relationship. He argued that his iPad and phone – a traditional landline – were both working, so why couldn’t he read the news? Luckily, the penny dropped eventually after further clarification of Wi-Fi, routers and telephone lines. I also suggested he warm a pan of water on his cooker for some tea, but he’s all electric. Oh well, can’t win them all.
If you think Steve’s situation to be a bit of a one-off, it isn’t. A few weeks ago, I received a call hours apart from two different customers – Jo and Hannah – regarding the same issue. The problem was that their printers wouldn’t turn on. Again, I offered advice about checking the power cables, electric sockets and so on.
Both of them assured me they had already checked everything, but it still wouldn’t work. The next piece of advice I gave is worth trying with any printing issue: unplug everything from the printer, remove the power supply from the wall socket and wait an hour. Once time is up, reconnect everything and maybe choose a different socket for the power lead. I left Jo and Hannah with this task and awaited their verdict.
Customers aren’t always as quick to get back in touch with me when a problem gets sorted, but they both did so a few days later. Hannah had noticed her wall socket plug wasn’t fully in, had pushed it, and the printer came to life. Jo had “fiddled with the wires a bit around the back”, and that had done the trick. When I carefully mentioned that I thought they had already checked the cables, both assured me they had, but this time round was more successful. While phone calls like this are frustrating, I’m not here to judge; I’ve done similar in the past, and I’m supposed to be the expert.
The phone support scam
A more worrying side to these kinds of scenarios is the telephone support scam. I get many customers contacting me asking if these calls are genuine or whether their internet really will stop working after 24 hours. Luckily, many of them haven’t paid the villains any money at this point and have rung me to check. But, unfortunately, the scammers have also done an excellent job of gaining their confidence, and I’ve no w got a battle on my hands convincing them otherwise. I can spend a long time on the phone trying to reassure them they don’t have an issue, and it’s all a hoax to get them to part with their brass. Thankfully, I have a little trick that helps when I’m struggling to get my message across: my dad.
My father is a retired farmer who has never used a computer. He initially had no interest in tech, and now he’s too old and too stubborn to learn (his words, not mine). He’s lived in his current home for over 20 years with no internet and a landline phone as his only form of electronic communication. I tell this backstory to my customers because I can then explain that the scammers call him. I stress that this is someone who has never had a computer in his life, yet they contact him with the same cock and bull stories of viruses or internet issues. It’s a great way to help them understand these idiots are ringing anyone randomly on the off chance they have a computer.
I also explain that my dad is a major wind-up merchant. He makes the scammers believe he has a PC, and gets them to talk him through the issues. As they spin their web of
“Jo had ‘fiddled with the wires a bit around the back’, and that had done the trick”
deceit, he pretends to be an incompetent user who doesn’t know where to click or what to do. Of course, this isn’t hard for him, as he has no tech knowledge or actual computer. He continues to frustrate them like this until they hang up, or he gets bored and impolitely tells them to get lost.
I wish all my customers treated these crooks in the same way, but I advise them not to. Unfortunately, these trained con artists know all the tricks in the book to make us believe them, and we’re all susceptible. So the advice I give is to put the phone down on them straight away – but maybe throw in an odd swear word before you do.
I’ll finish this section with another saying I hear pretty often. Okay, it’s not a saying as such, but it will be familiar to anyone who looks after computers for others. It usually starts: “Since you were last here, I’ve not been able to…”
I sometimes change settings on a customer’s machine that inadvertently upsets the status quo. The change was for the greater good, but it now doesn’t look or work as it did. In those situations, I accept, explain and correct things as needed. But many of the issues I get blamed for arise because of coincidence or potential user error – especially when it’s months since I visited.
To give you an extreme example, let me introduce Marion. A while ago, I called in to help move her over to a new email account. It involved nothing more than setting up her new address and importing her contacts; she hadn’t even wanted to keep her old emails. Once things were up and running, I did a general courtesy check of her laptop, and my work was complete. When she rang a few weeks later, I was expecting more email concerns, but she told me rather crossly that she couldn’t watch catch-up on her TV – and hadn’t been able to since I last visited.
As she wasn’t in the mood for explanations or telephone help, I decided it was best to arrange another appointment. When I arrived, I found the TV hooked up to the internet via a powerline adapter. Everything seemed to be connected correctly, so I took the next step and restarted the adapters. A few minutes later, iPlayer was back in action. While Marion stared at her TV in surprise, I explained what homeplugs did and why sometimes you need to turn them off and on when issues occur. I also politely clarified that this had nothing to do with my previous visit, and I would have to charge her for the call-out. My explanations must have worked, as she paid me without hesitation.
Right to repair
Regular readers of PC Pro will know Lee Grant is an advocate for the right to repair. Like Lee, I repair laptops and other tech daily. And, like Lee, I’m thoroughly frustrated at how difficult manufacturers are making it to do the simplest of repairs, such as replacing memory or storage.
I target most of my frustration at the thin and light laptops that have become the norm. However, I also see weird design issues in more unlikely places, and Chris’s machine was one such device. The laptop in question was a gaming monster, where “portable” was not a word you would ever use to describe it.
This powerhouse of a rig was misbehaving with random errors and restarts, and my testing software revealed problems with the RAM.
As this was consistent with the issues I was seeing, it was time to look inside. The beauty of these gaming laptops is usually the ease with which you can get to the components. In this case, undo five screws, remove the base, and all the bits I may need to replace are within easy access.
Or so I thought. On closer inspection, I couldn’t see the RAM. There were two slots in full view for memory to fit into, but nothing filled them. I was fully aware this machine had plenty of RAM, so it must live elsewhere. A quick search on Google, and I found the service manual. Sure enough, the motherboard had four memory slots: two at the top and two underneath. To get to the faulty RAM, I had to take out the motherboard. Unfortunately, to remove it, I pretty much had to dismantle the laptop.
Now, I get why things can be like this. Gamers often update their laptops, and memory is a valuable and easy upgrade; the ability to slap some more in with little fuss makes sense. I only wish that laptop manufacturers would think more about repairability when designing their machines.
Anyway, after a chat with Chris, I did the necessary and replaced the faulty RAM. However, this time I put the working memory in the visible slots. It turns out the laptop is a cast-off from his son, and Chris will only use it for general computing. With that in mind, I decided that his new RAM will probably die well before he ever needs to upgrade it. I also felt sad that Chris had now relegated this beast of a laptop to such mundane tasks, so I asked if he wanted to sell it and buy a run-ofthe-mill machine. Sadly, he declined. Oh well. Once again, I can’t win them all.
“I only wish that laptop manufacturers would think more about repairability”