LICK them for LUCK
Lindsey Munro, 25, from Larkfield, never thought her fella’s madcap idea would be his breast one yet…
After five years with my partner Danny, I was used to his crazy ideas.
Meeting on a night out at the local pub, he told me he was an engineer, but that he did ‘other stuff’, too.
He came across as a bit of an oddball, but I fancied him anyway, and we’d soon become a couple.
Soon enough, he’d painted his car red and branded it the Smart
Ka Shop Bar and used it to serve drinks out of at music festivals.
Then he brought out his own book, Laika Vega Years: Aliens on the Moon. He also invented an app called Stare Off, where users battle each other not to blink first.
But, earlier this year, he really took the cake.
One night, I caught him staring at my breasts.
‘What do you think you’re playing at?’ I laughed.
But I soon realised he wasn’t staring at my boobs out of lust.
They were just inspiration for another madcap invention…
‘What about lucky horse nipples?’ he said. What?! His latest idea was to make two fluffy balls out of horse fur, and place a little nipple on each. ‘People can keep them in a box as a lucky charm!’ he laughed. ‘Like a rabbit’s foot.’ After a good laugh, I agreed it would be a fun – and crazy – thing to try. ‘But maybe we should call them unicorn nipples instead?’ I suggested. ‘They’re meant to be lucky, after all!’ Soon enough, Danny got to work on his bizarre creation. One evening, he pushed a small box towards me. Flick ‘em, rub ‘em, suck ‘em, read the slogan on top. Lifting
the lid, a pair of white furry boobs with rainbow nipples stared up at me.
‘You did it!’ I cried, falling into a fit of laughter.
Danny was so proud, and started listing all the marketing possibilities Lucky Unicorn Nipples could bring. ‘We’ll make a fortune!’ he cried. And, soon enough, he’d persuaded a Dutch company to manufacture a pair for him.
The idea was that you lick them for luck. ‘Let’s test them!’ I said. So, I gave them a good lick then logged onto a bingo site.
And, just two minutes later, I’d won £4,500! ‘They worked!’ I cried. Maybe he was onto something after all…
Now the Lucky Unicorn Nipples are going full steam ahead, with manufacturers in China making them to hopefully be on sale in the UK soon. Who would have thought it? Lucky Unicorn Nipples seem to be Danny’s breast idea yet!