Dateless for a decade thanks to my love-struck stalker

For 10 years, Lorraine Mitchell, 52, from St Leonards-on-sea, felt like she was being watched…

He said he knew everything about me

Climbing into the driving seat, I pulled the door shut. Home time, I thought. It was July 2007, I’d just finished work as an optical assistant and couldn’t wait to get home to my three kids, Rhiannon, then 19, Seth, 16, and Jake, 13.

I’d been divorced for a year, and was still getting used to being a single mum.

Suddenly, someone rapped on my window. Startled, I looked up. A man in his 20s was staring at me, holding a rose. Maybe he needs directions to

somewhere, I thought. Only, the man had something else in mind.

‘Will you go out with me?’ he said boldly.

He was a complete stranger – I’d never seen him before.

‘No!’ I replied, stunned. But he kept on. ‘Please, give me a chance,’ he insisted, holding out the flower for me.

‘I’ve been watching you a long time,’ he said. ‘What do you mean?’ I stuttered. By now I was getting scared. ‘Your name is Lorraine Mitchell. You have three children and I know where you live,’ he said. Then he recited my address. My blood ran cold.

How could he know so much about me?

Panicking, I started the car.

‘Leave me alone,’ I said, driving off.

Back home, I told the kids and gave them a detailed description of the man.

‘I think I’ve seen him,’ one of them said.

My stomach churned as the kids explained they’d seen someone matching his description hanging around outside our house.

Horrified, I called the police and gave a statement.

They told me to call them immediately if I ever saw him again.

After that, my work colleagues always made sure someone walked me to my car. But I felt on edge. Like I was always being watched.

The next week, I went away for a counselling course.

Worried, I sent the kids to stay with their grandparents, and parked my car at a friend’s.

A few days into the course, my friend called me.

‘One of your tyres has been let down,’ she said.

It’s him, I thought. I tried to forget about it. But a few weeks later, I was on my lunch break when the man appeared in front of me. ‘Can I talk to you?’ he asked. ‘Go away!’ I replied, terrified. I hurried off and called the police – but, without his name, there was little they could do. They told me to ignore him. Over the next year, he approached me several times, begging me to go out with him.

He was never threatening, but I was a nervous wreck.

I had no idea what this man was capable of doing.

I lived in fear, and stopped going out with my friends and making an effort to look nice.

I didn’t want to be noticed, and was afraid to date. I became more and more isolated. The following year, in early 2009, I joined Facebook.

Only, I was flooded with friend requests – from him.

He used different names and bombarded me with messages.

How are you, beautiful? he asked. I think u r the most beautiful woman on the planet.

Each time, I blocked him, and informed police.

But the Facebook messages weren’t enough evidence to arrest him. I was distraught. ‘Why me?’ I

wept to my friend.

I was baffled as to why a perfect stranger was obsessed with me. Stalking me. Weeks and even months would pass and nothing would happen.

But I knew it was just a matter of time before he appeared again.

I was always wondering when he’d next hound me.

I started keeping a written record of each incident.

I got a dog, Theo, to make me feel safer, and even had counselling.

But over the years, my stalker’s behaviour got worse.

One day, at the supermarket, he parked next to me. My heart pounded. ‘Come on, Lorraine, give me your number,’ he said. Petrified, I drove off. I tried to stay strong for the kids, but my nerves were shredded.

In January last year, I was

diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Then, in July, he stepped up his campaign further.

One morning, I was driving along the seafront when I spotted him driving erratically in the next lane.

As he sped along, I was terrified for my life. What’s he going to

do? I panicked. Eventually he drove off – and, sobbing, I headed home.

I called the police, who tracked him down and questioned him.

But within a few hours, he was released with a warning not to contact me. ‘You can’t let him go,’ I wept. I was truly terrified of what he’d do next.

But there wasn’t enough evidence to charge him.

I found out his name, though – Sherzad Salih.

Officers installed a security camera outside my house and told my neighbours to report any sightings of him.

But it wasn’t enough. A few days later, Rhiannon, then 30, called.

‘He’s been following me, too,’ she said, scared. It was the last straw. I was a wreck, I couldn’t let him torment my daughter as well.

I contacted my local MP, Amber Rudd, who’d previously introduced stalking prevention orders, allowing courts to order offenders not to go near their victims.

With Amber’s support, an arrest warrant was issued. Finally! According to police, Salih didn’t think he’d done anything wrong – he thought I should be flattered by the attention. Disgusting. In October last year, Sherzad Salih, then 38, appeared at Hove Crown Court.

He pleaded guilty to stalking me, causing fear of violence, and serious harm or distress.

Thankfully, Salih was jailed for four years and given an indefinite restraining order. Finally, I felt free. Safe. The kids have been so supportive through all this.

I’m still struggling emotionally and still have no idea why he targeted me. I haven’t dated since he first started hounding me 10 years ago.

But, after a decade of hell, he won’t steal any more years from me.

I’m ready to move on with my life now.

Since my ordeal, I’ve spoken more to my local police about stalking and they’ve incorporated my experience into their policies.

They’ve tightened up and improved their stance on stalking, and it’s good to know that something good came out of this.

I just hope no other woman out there has to go through what I’ve been through.

If you’ve been affected by stalking and need advice, go to www.paladinservice.co.uk or www.suzylamplugh.org.