Am I wast­ing my time?

Pick Me Up! Special - - Your Dilemmas -

I’m a sin­gle mum and I’ve just started dat­ing again. I’ve been hav­ing lots of fun with a guy but he’s made it clear that be­ing a step­dad isn’t some­thing he wants. He says we should keep see­ing each other – but is there any point? Tess, Hamp­shire

YES Pick Me Up! reader Sarah from Glas­gow says:

I wouldn’t over think this right now. You’ve only just started dat­ing and this is about you hav­ing fun – not find­ing some­one to take on your kids. When things start to get se­ri­ous, then you can ad­dress the is­sue again. For now, just re­lax, have fun with the re­la­tion­ship, and stop think­ing too far ahead.

Pick Me NO Up! reader Laura from Kent says:

Whether you like it or not, dat­ing is dif­fer­ent when you’re a sin­gle mum. He’s been re­ally hon­est with you and told you the truth. If you end up fall­ing for this guy, it will only end in heart­break be­cause you come as a pack­age. I think you’re hop­ing he’ll change his mind and that’s a big risk to take. Get back dat­ing and find some­one new.


What do you want from this re­la­tion­ship? If it’s just fun, sex and com­pan­ion­ship then I see no rea­son to end it. How­ever, he’s been very, very clear with you (good on him!) that he doesn’t want to be a step­dad, which I think is code for, ‘I don’t want a se­ri­ous, long-term, com­mit­ted re­la­tion­ship with you.’ So, you need to ask your­self what you want. If it’s a se­ri­ous and set­tled re­la­tion­ship then this guy isn’t Mr Right. If it’s fun you’re af­ter then maybe he’s Mr Right-for-now. Good luck.

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