The only way is up
Gemma Siddle, 37, from County Durham, watched her weight slip out of control after medication always left her hungry...
Staring at my computer screen, I struggled to concentrate. It was September 2016 and I was in my office, where I worked as a chartered financial planner.
But no matter how hard I studied the screen, I just couldn’t seem to focus.
‘I’m starving this morning,’ I said to one of my colleagues, as I sipped on some water.
It wasn’t because I’d not had any breakfast, but instead down to some new medication I was on.
I’d recently been prescribed some antidepressants and one of the side effects was always feeling hungry.
I’d struggled with depression on and off throughout my entire adult life. And now, a year on from having my little girl Holly, I was feeling lower than ever.
With postnatal depression hitting me hard, I knew I couldn’t go on like this any more and sought out help from my GP.
Sent on my way with a prescription of antidepressants, I was given one stark warning by my doctor.
‘A side effect is weight gain,’ she explained to me.
‘So go careful with what you eat.’ Having always been slim and never particularly worried about my
weight, I wasn’t too concerned. But after a few months on the tablets, the doctor’s warning proved to be true. Always feeling hungry, the weight was piling on me!
‘I’ve never gained weight like this before,’ I said to my husband Jamie, 36. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ he reassured me. ‘As long as you’re feeling better in yourself, that’s all that matters.’
But in truth, I knew I wasn’t. With my weight creeping up, my confidence was at an all time low. Within just nine months, I’d gone from a comfortable size 12 to bursting out of size 20 clothes. My size more of a risk to my health than my mental health by now, doctors decided it was best to take me off the medication. But after nearly two years of taking the pills, I was bigger than ever. Weighing 16st 9lb, I felt miserable. And at an awards do with work in November 2019, it had never been more apparent.
Up for the biggest award in my industry, I only had one thought on my mind.
‘Please don’t win, please don’t win,’ I said to myself, over and over. The idea of walking on to the stage with all eyes on me was like something out of a nightmare.
But as the winner was called out, I had no choice.
I’d won.
Walking past tables of my colleagues and peers, I felt completely mortified.
Every step up to the stage was filled with self doubt and worry about how I looked.
I should have been celebrating, but I was too worried about what everyone else was thinking.
In the weeks following, as colleagues congratulated me on my win at work, I always tried to get out of the conversations as quickly as I possibly could.
Constantly knocking myself and pushing people away, I knew I needed to make a change.
And as the first lockdown came into force in March 2020, it was now or never.
‘I’m going to try and shift some of this weight,’ I said to Jamie.
‘You look great either way,’ he’d reassure me.
But I needed to do this for me. The last few years had been miserable and I’d finally got to a point where something had to give. Wanting to be a fitter and healthier mum to Holly, I set about making some small changes.
Switching out sugary snacks for lower calorie alternatives and spending more time outdoors, I lost half a stone within a month.
I was chuffed to bits, but soon ran out of momentum on my own.
Knowing I needed some moral support, I decided to join the 1:1 Diet by Cambridge Weight Plan.
Speaking to my consultant Jenny over the phone for the first time, something just clicked.
She was exactly the person I needed to help me along the way and I soon started on the plan.
Eating four of their products a day, I was feeling great.
I had more energy, didn’t feel sluggish and was losing weight every week!
Within a month, I was down a stone and it only continued on from there.
As the weeks went by and I graduated along the plan, I was able to include more foods back into my diet.
After six months of sticking to it, I was down to my target weight in October last year.
Feeling and looking great, I couldn’t believe how far I’d come.
Down to 11st, I’d dropped down to a size 10 in clothes.
‘I need a whole new wardrobe,’ I laughed to Jamie, as I tried on an old skirt I used to wear for work.
It was now hanging off me completely!
Even better, my mental health has soared over the last year.
I’m doing things I never thought I would and this year, Jenny and I have even planned to do a wing walk for charity together.
She’s become a great friend over the last few months and has been such an incredible support to me as I’ve gone through this process.
The wing walk is something I wouldn’t have been able to do a few years back because of my size, but now you’d have to try stopping me.
I feel like the old me is back and she’s here to stay now.
I’m ready to take on the world and nothing is going to hold me back again.
I knew I needed to make a change
Gemma is completing the wing walk for Teesdale and Weardale Search and Rescue Team. If you’d like to donate please visit justgiving.com/fundraising/gemmasiddle.