What’s on your mind? Heartbreak
My boyfriend left me out of the blue, after five years together, and I’m devastated. I thought we were happy – we’d just got a puppy and bought a house together. How can I learn to be happy on my own again?
We’re often fed the lie that we need a man in our lives to be happy – from fairytales where the damsel in distress is saved by the handsome prince, to modern romantic comedies where the happy ending means getting the guy.
It can make you feel as if being single means there’s something wrong with you.
But if you can learn to be happy on your own, you’ll be happy no matter what.
Face your fears
What is it about being single that scares you? Is it just that you’re used to having a partner around? Or are you worried about what other people will think?
Once you know what you’re up against, you can start to move forward again.
Look for the positives
It hurts now, but if you look
back at your relationship, are you seeing it for what it really was or looking through rose-tinted glasses?
It’s easy to romanticise the past, but if you think about it, you’ll quite probably see that cracks were there all along.
In the long-run, it’s better for you to have a clean break and a fresh start, and find someone who can love you the way you deserve.
Focus on yourself
It can be tempting to jump straight back into the dating pool, but try to resist.
It’s so important to take some time for yourself, and get to know who you really are. Five years is a long time to be part of a couple, and in that time, you can start to lose aspects of yourself.
Focus on yourself, and be selfish for a change – you’ll be back to feeling like yourself again in no time.