Your Your dilemmas Tell Me Who You Really Are dilemmas Will this go away? JO SAYS:
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y partner is going through mental health struggles at the moment. And instead of listening, he’s taking things out on me physically. I love him but I know it’s wrong. Should I reach out for help or will this go away on its own?
Pick Me Up! reader Dionne from
Bath says:
YES
Pick Me Up! reader Meryl from Sunderland says:
Yes – you need to get help. For yourself and your partner. As soon as things turn physical, it’s almost a point of no return. It doesn’t matter how much he is struggling, he can’t do this and get away with it.
If you can, support him. But in this process, you need to think about what YOU want. Is it better for you to leave now before things get worse? If you can’t forgive him, it’s time to go.
NO
You’ve asked two questions here and I’m saying no to the idea that this will go away on its own. Your partner will think he can get away with this and continue, I’m afraid.
He may even try and use his mental health as an excuse. I strongly advise you to tell family and friends what is happening. This is not your fault and at this stage it’s better to remove yourself.
Love can mean letting go, too.
YES
Nothing, I repeat, nothing justifies his violence towards you and I don’t care how deep his mental health issues are, you are NOT his punching bag. Get out!
For your own safety, you have to leave this relationship. Maybe the shock of you leaving will wake him up, but for now, this is not a safe relationship for you. Your local domestic violence safe house will be able to offer help.
Pick Me Up! reader
Hannah from
Newport says:
Why have you not said anything to him before now? I feel like you’re almost as bad as the bullies themselves for admitting you can understand why they tease him.
Your son is a laughing stock and you’re not helping him! You need to step up. It’s easy for pre-teens to fall into this pattern but you need to advise him.
Make sure he is washing regularly and you could even help him to do his hair or something in the morning.
His confidence will be at an all-time low, encourage him and don’t let this fester. Just let him know.
NO Rae, London
Pick Me Up! reader
Stephanie from
Carlisle says:
I don’t think this makes you a bad mum as you’ve recognised the behaviour and you’re aware of the situation. However, what I don’t like, is the idea of you not helping beforehand.
Has he been like this for some time? We all have days where we don’t look our best, but if this is going on seven days a week then we have a problem.
Talk to him. How does he want to fix this? Loading too much onto him too soon may cause a problem. Make this a gradual but permanent change.