Fairytale Ending For 13-year-old Mum
Love and time changed Steff’s life...
My heart fluttered when Ryan Gibbs passed me a note at school. Will you go out with me? it said, with two tick boxes. Yes or no.
Ticking ‘yes’, I passed it back, smiling.
Both 12, we’d steal kisses behind the bike shed, hold hands in the playground.
It was all very innocent. But, at 13, we started having sex.
We knew we were young but, at the time, we felt grown-up and in love.
Plus, the doctor had already put me on the Pill to help with my periods.
‘So, you see,
I can’t get pregnant,’
I reassured Ryan.
Only, I got food poisoning, and started vomiting. And, weeks on, I was still throwing up…
Then, when I fainted at school, I was taken to hospital.
‘Is there any chance you’re pregnant?’ the nurse asked. ‘I don’t think so,’ I stuttered. ‘Let’s do a test, just in case,’ she smiled.
It was positive.
I hadn’t realised food poisoning could prevent the Pill from working, and I’d vomited up the tablets.
The doctor phoned my mum Glenda, 54, while I called Ryan from a payphone.
‘Are you sure?’ he gasped, completely stunned.
‘Yes,’ I replied, before my money ran out and the call was cut off.
Going it alone
Everyone was shocked and, at just 13, I was terrified.
I think Ryan’s family assumed I’d opt for a termination, but I just couldn’t.
Mum supported me, although she worried I’d ruined my life.
Ryan wanted to stick by me, but it was tough.
An 11-week scan revealed our baby could have Down’s syndrome, and I was referred to a specialist London hospital.
There, further tests for Down’s syndrome were negative, yet every other week doctors worried that something else was wrong. I was offered an abortion so many times. ‘No,’ I said, determined. Ryan came to one scan, and stroked my leg as I threw up into a sandwich bag. He looked like a startled little boy.
We’re too young for this, I realised. When I developed pre-eclampsia at 34 weeks, doctors performed an emergency Caesarean. And, in June 2002, baby Katy was placed in my arms.
She weighed a healthy 6lb 13oz.
I just loved her so much.
Ryan’s mum brought him to visit, and he cuddled Katy.
Maybe we can make it as a family after all, I thought, hopefully.
It was hard, but we tried to make it work.
So Mum looked after Katy during the daytime, bringing her up to the school so Ryan could see her, too.
He’d give me money from his paper round, leave love notes in my locker.
But, at the same time, I was being horrendously bullied at school.
Girls would shout at me, calling me names like ‘whore’ and ‘slut’.
They’d spit on me, push me into the lockers.
The stress of it all tore Ryan and me apart.
Everyone felt it best if he didn’t see us any more – and we were too young, too out of our depth to argue.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said.
It broke his heart. Mine, too. But I wanted to be the best mum I could, so I left school, started college early.
By 17, I had my own place, a new partner, and another girl, Erin. The relationship
He’d give me money from his paper round, leave love notes
didn’t work out, but my girls and I were happy, just the three of us.
Until, one day, when Katy was 7, I got a Facebook message from Ryan…
How’s Katy? he wrote. I’d love to be part of her life. I burst into tears. We’d been apart for so long, and I’d grown up a lot. But he’s Katy’s
daddy, I thought. I couldn’t deny her the chance to know him, and I knew it’d never been his choice to abandon us. So we swapped numbers. ‘I need to make sure you’re serious first,’ I told Ryan firmly.
The last thing I wanted was to upset Katy.
To prove himself to me, Ryan called me daily for three weeks. He worked as a builder, but had never had another serious relationship. ‘I never stopped thinking about her,’ he promised. ‘Or you.’ One night, I snuggled up with Katy.
‘Your daddy would like to meet you,’ I said. ‘Would you like to meet him?’
‘Has he bought me a present?’ she asked.
‘Yes, I think so,’ I laughed. Shortly after, the three of us met in a local park. When I first saw Ryan, my heart fluttered like it did at school. It’s my Ryan, I thought.
Older, stockier, but my Ryan..!
He and Katy were both shy but, after 30 minutes, Katy took his hand.
‘Will you push me on the swings? she asked.
My heart melted.
We met several more times after that, and Ryan met Erin too. Every day, he’d call to say goodnight to Katy.
Then, after the girls were asleep, he’d call back and we’d chat until the early hours.
All those old feelings came flooding back.
A proposal
One day, after he hung up, Ryan sent a text message. Will you go out with me – yes or no?
It was just how he’d asked me to be his girlfriend when we were 12 years old. So romantic!
Yes, I replied.
Being back in Ryan’s arms just felt right.
And when I told Mum, she wasn’t surprised.
‘Your heart always belonged to Ryan,’ she smiled.
Six months later, on New Year’s Eve 2009, Ryan proposed to me. ‘Yes!’ I beamed.
It felt like a fairytale. Shortly after, Ryan moved in. Erin’s father wasn’t around, and one day she asked if she could have Katy’s daddy, too.
‘I’ve only ever thought of you as my daughter as well,’ Ryan told her, tears in his eyes.
In August 2011, we married in a big family wedding, with both the girls as bridesmaids.
Saying my vows to Ryan meant so much.
We’d gone through a lot to get there, and were such a happy family.
Now I give talks in schools about contraception – although I wouldn’t change my life for the world.
I’m sad that Ryan missed out on Katy’s early years but, looking back, we both needed to grow up.
And we’re definitely making up for it now.