Pumpkin To Princess!
An unflattering photo saw Pam make massive lifestyle changes
Just like a best friend, food has always been there for me in my darkest hours. And there’ve been a fair few of those…
The first tragedy struck when I was only 5 years old.
I lost my mum Anne to lung cancer. Then, at 12, my dad Roy suffered a fatal heart attack.
Orphaned, I felt my world had shattered into pieces.
My older sister Sue, then 32, became my legal guardian.
Always close, we were both grieving in our ways, but I turned to comfort eating.
Comfort eating
The sweet shop was on my way to and from school, so I often broke up my walks to stock up on sugary treats and salty snacks.
I’d eat rubbish like crisps, chocolate and cakes throughout the school day, and carry on binging when I got home.
I’d also scoff greasy takeaways four times a week. To cheer me up, Sue would always make sure I had the money.
I’d never been that big, but the pounds started to pile on – until, by the time I was 15, I weighed 13st.
‘You shouldn’t eat so much,’ Sue often said.
‘But I want to,’ I’d retort. She was only concerned for my health... but, at the time, I didn’t want to hear it.
The more people commented on my weight, the more I ate.
Mean comments from kids at school pushed me back to food, as well...
‘You’re too fat for your uniform!’ they’d jeer cruelly. And it was true. The bigger I got, the tighter my school uniform looked and felt. Even though being called fat hurt more than anything, eating was the only way I could dull that pain. It was a vicious cycle. At school, certain everyone was whispering and staring at me, I began suffering from anxiety, depression and panic attacks. My confidence and self-worth drained, soon I didn’t even want to leave the house. I stopped going to school, had to finish my exams at home.
‘Come on, let’s go out!’ my friends would encourage. But they were all interested in boys and getting dressed up. I couldn’t face it. Instead, I’d sit in front of the telly, making myself feel better with snacks... By 19, I’d ballooned to 17st 2lb, and was a whopping size-22.
On a holiday to Llandudno, Sue asked me to climb a mountain with her. ‘Come on, it’ll be fun!’ she smiled as we reached the Great Orme.
I tried, but I was sweating and panting before we’d even reached the first bench.
‘I can’t do it!’ I huffed, desperate to catch my breath.
Sue helped me back down, but I felt like a fat failure.
It was no life.
New resolve
Being so big left me feeling miserable and uncomfortable.
Friends at the nursery where I worked were always going out, having fun.
‘They’re my age,’ I thought, ‘I should be doing that, too…’
Then, looking through old holiday photos, I saw one of me standing in front of a fairytale princess carriage we’d spotted in Blackpool.
‘Princess? More like pumpkin,’ I grumbled, mortified by the huge, round girl staring back at me.
I’d had enough. The weight had to go. But I knew a fairy godmother wasn’t going to appear and a wave a magic wand. Changing my life was down to me, and me alone.
So, in October 2013, I joined Slimming World. Eliminating processed food, I swapped the sweets and takeaways for healthy, home-cooked meals.
It was tough at first, and I came close to quitting.
‘Believe in yourself,’ encouraged my coach Shirley.
As the weeks passed, I grew more determined, and, in April 2014, I joined a gym. Thinking everyone would stare at me,
Mum and Dad went too soon… I hope I’ve made them proud
I arrived at my first workout session terrified…
But everybody was friendly and welcoming, so I started going three days a week.
Transformed!
By summer 2014, I’d visibly lost weight in my face and arms, felt my confidence creep back.
‘You look great! Keep going!’ Sue smiled.
I couldn’t decide on a target weight, so I didn’t set one.
‘I’ll know when I get there,’ I told Sue.
By early 2015, I’d slimmed down to 10st, a slender size-8.
Now nothing would hold me back any more!
So Sue and I returned to the Great Orme – and, this time, as the sun rose, I made it to the summit.
‘I’m so proud of you!’ squealed Sue.
Bursting with new self-belief, in April 2015, I set off to spend 18 months working and travelling in Australia.
I swam with crocodiles, skydived, snorkelled along the Great Barrier Reef, and spent New Year’s Eve in Sydney.
Being this outgoing would’ve been unthinkable two years earlier, yet here I was!
Last year, I returned to the UK to be Sue’s maid of honour when she married Mike.
Wearing a beautiful, lilac, floor-length dress, I’d finally gone from pumpkin to princess! But, best of all, I was so proud to support my wonderful sister on her big day.
I even made a speech at the reception, in honour of Mum and Dad – a thing I wouldn’t ever have considered before I’d lost all the weight. I wouldn’t have had the confidence then.
The last 27 years have been a rocky road, but I’m finally happy. More than anything, I just hope I’ve made Mum and Dad proud. They went too soon…
Now I’ve stopped wasting my life and started living it!