Your Dilemmas

For the last few months, I’ve been dating a handsome and successful older man. He’s 12 years older than me, and he’s divorced with three kids. Everything’s going so well, we’re even talking about moving in together.

The only problem is his group of friends. They’ve known each other for ages, and can be quite intimidating. They’re constantly cracking in jokes, and they seem to be pretty uninterested in having a conversation with me, though I’ve tried. I don’t even feel like I fit in with their girlfriends,.

Seeing them makes me feel excluded and not good enough, but his mates are an important part of my partner’s life, so I don’t want him to get upset.

Should I talk to my man about his friends?

Yes

Pick Me Up! reader Michelle Mcgrath says, ‘You ‘Y should h ld speak up before it festers and you end up as a simmering pot ready to explode! Tell him that they make you feel uncomfortable.

But remember you’re going out with him, not his friends, so you have every right to say no to socialising with them.

Really, you can be polite to his friends and mix when needed, but you don’t have to prioritise them over your own. Keeping things separate may work and keep your selfesteem intact.’

no

Pick Me Up! reader Claire Mangan says, ‘They ‘Th may also l be uncomfortable, as presumably his ex was also their friend. You don’t know how many girlfriends he’s introduced to them in the meantime either. They’re bound to be a little guarded, and they may just take a while to accept you into their circle.

Just try to start conversations on a one-to-one basis with them, get to know them and let them learn more about you. It won’t happen overnight, but it will come in time.’