Avoid Christmas Conflict?

Claire, 59, Portsmouth

My three children are grown up and have their own partners and families. Christmas has always been such a special time for me and their dad, to have them all back and spoil them.

But this year’s been difficult. My son and daughter have fallen out so badly they haven’t spoken for the past six months.

They’ve all agreed to come for Christmas, along with my third child and told me it will be fine. But I’m dreading it. I know what they can be like, plus with a few drinks during the day, I’m scared things could get unpleasant.

Should I tell them how I’m feeling and ask them to stagger their visits?

YES

Pick Me Up! reader Debbie Hadden says, ’Ask them to resolve their problems in advance, or you don’t want them all together. Christmas is a special time for families, not for arguing. When they realise the pressure this is putting on you, it may make them think twice about their actions.

If nothing else, it will give you a one-to-one with each family member, so you can enjoy quality time without issues.’

NO

Pick Me Up! reader Nicola Green says,

‘If the fallout was really bad, tell them how worried you are, as you don’t want any ill-feeling at Christmas, or beyond. Suggest they have a meeting now to thrash out any tension that’s ongoing.

Christmas is a special time of year. Don’t cancel it – but if trouble does start, send them home. This might make them realise just how important family is.’