Your dilemmas…

Sue, 59, Leigh

My ex-husband and I split when our only daughter was 14. He’d met someone else and they’re now married with an 8-year-old son. Though we’re all on good terms and see each other a lot, my daughter has never fully forgiven her dad.

Now 26, she’s getting married. She has invited her dad to the wedding, but she’s asked my partner to give her away and me to make the speech. Her dad is devastated. He’s always been a good father to her and she’s only known my partner for three years! I think she’ll live to regret excluding her dad from these traditional roles. Should I ask her to reconsider?

yes

Pick Me Up! reader Charlotte Ellis says, ‘She will definitely regret this, whether it’s in a year or a decade. If he’s been a good dad to her throughout her life, it seems ridiculous to choose a man she’s known for three years to give her away instead.

I can understand why she feels the need to punish her father, but an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.’

no

Pick Me Up! reader Julie Hilton says, ‘Your daughter is an adult and has a right to her own feelings. Just because you’ve moved on doesn’t mean she isn’t allowed to feel as she does. It’s her wedding, not yours or your ex-husband’s. And he has to accept this as a consequence of his selfish actions all those years ago. Respect her wishes and say nothing more.’