why i send my boy out in a dress
Crystal Kells, 33, from ontario, Canada, dresses her son his way…
watching as my 5-year-old twirled around in a blue, sparkly dress, I had to smile. ‘You look really beautiful, Sweetie,’ I beamed.
Pulling out a pair of glitter pumps, my littl’un couldn’t wait to put those on, too.
‘I look like a princess, Mummy!’ he grinned.
That’s right. He.
Cian, my son, loves wearing princess dresses every day.
And me and my husband Brian, 33, are happy to let him.
Our only child, we’ve never wanted to limit our boy.
When he was born in February 2012, I dressed him in both blue and pink onesies.
‘Who said pink is just for girls?’ I asked friends.
I hated that society dictated what colours little boys and girls should wear.
As well as clothes, I didn’t want to limit Cian to toys associated with boys, such as cars and trucks.
If he wanted to play with dolls, then who was I to tell him that he couldn’t?
So I bought him his own dolly – and, sure enough, Cian absolutely loved it.
Then, when he turned 3, he became obsessed with the Disney movie Frozen.
‘I love Elsa,’ he told me. Cian would pretend to be her and dance around the room while belting out Let It Go.
Then, one day when he was 4, he gasped when I walked down the stairs in a stripy maxi dress.
‘Oh, Mummy, you look so beautiful!’ he smiled. ‘Please can I try it on?’
I didn’t see any harm in it. The dress completely swamped him but
I’d never seen Cian so happy.
‘I want a dress of my own,’ Cian smiled.
And, in that moment, I realised something…
‘If he wants one, he should have one,’ I told Brian.
‘What will people think, though?’ he replied, unsure. But I didn’t care.
‘Why do there have to be rules?’ I argued.
Cian was our son and if wearing a dress was going to make him happy, then that was fine by me.
Brian agreed. So, the next day, in 2016, I took Cian shopping.
‘You can pick out whatever you want,’ I told him.
His little face lit up as he headed straight to the girls’ section in a department store. ‘I like this...and this...and this,’ he
smiled, having a lovely time looking at all the pretty dresses on offer.
Eventually, he settled on a pink dress that had a picture of Elsa on the front.
He was absolutely delighted with it and couldn’t wait to try it on when we got home.
But then, the following day he wanted to wear it again...
Of course, I was worried that strangers might make fun of him.
After all, Cian was just a little boy, and he had a shortback-and-sides haircut.
I just wanted to protect him. But he wanted to wear the dress...so that was that!
I wasn’t going to stop my son putting on something that he loved wearing.
As we walked down the street, he was so confident in his pink dress.
Cian didn’t bat an eyelid when people gawped and
chuckled behind his back. My heart just swelled with pride.
After that, I let Cian choose his own clothes every day.
And he was soon asking me to buy him frilly tops, leotards, and even a tutu. He even started to accessorise with tiaras and headbands, and would raid my jewellery box for strings of pearls and gem rings. Of course, Brian and I were criticised by other parents. ‘You’re just confusing your little boy,’ somebody once commented.
‘Do you think he’s gay?’ another parent asked.
But Cian was far too young to even understand anything like that. At the end of the day, he was a healthy, happy little boy. That was all that really mattered. Only, last September, Cian – who’s now 5 – started school...and there was a standard uniform of shorts for the boys and dresses for the girls.
‘Cian isn’t going to like that,’ I said to Brian, worried.
By now, he was used to wearing whatever he wanted. And I really didn’t want to start restricting him.
So I decided to speak to the headteacher at the school. ‘My son would prefer to wear a dress,’ I explained.
Thankfully, the school understood and said that Cian could wear a dress if he wanted to.
Naturally, I worried how his classmates would react – but, almost a year later, he’s received nothing but support.
Sometimes, the older kids make nasty remarks.
‘You look like a girl,’ someone shouted at him.
But it didn’t bother Cian. To him, that’s no insult! We don’t want to label Cian. It’s for him to decide and tell us what gender he is, and he’s still really young.
But if there comes a day when he tells us that he wants to be a girl full time, Brian and I will fully support him.
Yes, there are days when he says he wants to be a girl.
But then he also says that he wants to be Iron Man!
He’s only 5 years old, for goodness sake – and, as far as I’m concerned, he can be whatever his heart desires.
At the end of the day, he’s a healthy, happy little boy…