My bump was no baby!
Her swollen belly looked heavily pregnant, but it wasn’t a baby Hayley Green, 30, from Yeovil, was carrying...
Battling with my zip, I took a deep breath and tried desperately to do up my jeans.
It was no good. Although they were on, there was no getting that zip past my bulging belly.
‘Everything all right, love?’ called my fiance Ken, 61, from the other room.
He must have heard my frustrated groans.
‘Fine!’ I shouted back. But it flaming well wasn’t! Ladies, you know how it feels when you’re too tubby to get into your clothes.
It’s usually after a holiday or Christmas, when we may have over-indulged, that our favourite jeans don’t fit.
Huffing and puffing, we suck in our tummies, promising if they zip up this time, we’ll go to the gym tomorrow.
But it was March 2017, not Christmas. And, far from overdoing it, I’d been eating totally normally. So why was my tum sticking out like some old boy’s beer belly?
Sighing, I ditched the jeans and pulled on comfy joggers.
‘I look pregnant,’ I huffed to Ken, sitting on the sofa.
‘You don’t think you could…’ Ken began.
‘No,’ I cut him off.
I had a contraceptive implant but still, I probably should do a pregnancy test. But, two negative tests later, I was pretty satisfied I wouldn’t be delivering a mini-me in nine months’ time.
So what was going on? ‘Maybe it’s my irritable bowel syndrome,’ I mused to Ken.
It was an ongoing battle, something I’d suffered with all my life.
I was usually a size-10, and never had a flat stomach. But, when I was suffering, you could tell.
This time the bloat was at a whole new level.
So, after a month of constant bloating, I decided to go to my doctor.
The GP assumed, like me, it was just severe IBS.
‘It’ll pass on its own,’ the doctor soothed.
I was hesitant at first. It had already been a month and the bump was growing rapidly, but I had to trust their judgement.
So I tried to go about my business as normal. However, as weeks passed, it became increasingly hard to do that.
The first thing to change was my eating. I learnt quickly that fatty foods did me no favours and made my stomach pulse and ache. Even something like a salad wouldn’t sit right. In fact, it got to a point where I couldn’t really eat. I’d take a couple of mouthfuls and feel really stuffed. It wasn’t because my stomach had shrunk, either. I just physically couldn’t swallow anything.
‘What if I’m sick?’ I’d protest.
It was horrifying at home, but to have that happen in public was a big no from me! And my loo habits were completely random – diarrhoea one minute, and constipation the next. I told my GP, who said that it would clear up eventually. Meanwhile, if I went to the pub with my mates, people would
glare at me whenever they saw me drinking.
One night, gossiping with some gal pals over a bottle of Chardonnay, I noticed people in the wine bar staring.
I could practically hear their thoughts, What kind of mum will she be? Can’t stop boozing for her baby. Disgusting.
It was mortifying. I just wanted to scream at them all, ‘I’m not pregnant!’
But what good would that do? I did look like a mum-to-be.
And it made me miserable. I was ill, exhausted, tired of feeling out of control.
Plus, I didn’t have a clue
what was causing this.
By November
2017, I decided to take matters into my own hands and, after some research, I came across a possible explanation. Gastroparesis.
It’s a long-term, chronic condition, where the stomach can’t empty itself in the usual way.
It’s due to a problem with the nerves and muscles controlling the emptying of the stomach.
My symptoms all matched, too. Totally convinced, I begged the doctors to test me for it. But it took until early March 2018 to get them on board with it.
I had a barium X-ray scheduled for July 2018.
‘You swallow a chalky-white liquid which shows up on X-ray,’ explained the specialist.
Annoyingly though, the X-ray results came back all clear.
But I knew it wasn’t showing the right place. The blockage was in my bowels, I just didn’t know where or why.
In simple terms, I had chronic constipation.
So the bloating in my tummy was all un-pooped poo!
And that’s where the barium came in…
It didn’t happen overnight, but it did help me to get one or two things out of my system.
That’s right. As grim as it sounds, I pooped out all of my problems!
I’ll spare the gory details but, once it was over, all the bloating and pain that I’d been suffering simply vanished! It was amazing. Doctors still believe my bloated stomach was caused by irritable bowel syndrome – though I’m not convinced.
But one thing is for certain, if my belly ever bloats like that again, I’ll know exactly what to ask for.
For now, though, I’m just happy to be back to my eatingout, jean-wearing old self.
Let’s hope it stays that way!