Your dilemmas…

Joanne, 61 Poole

My daughter is a grown woman – she’s 29 years old now, and yet she’s been living with me for the past six months – but hasn’t been paying me any rent to stay.

She’s a clever woman and has a degree, and she used to have a good job when she was living with her partner. But then everything suddenly changed for my daughter and she had a run of bad luck.

Firstly, she got fired and then her boyfriend kicked her out, so she came crawling back.

But she’s turned into a slob! She doesn’t pull her weight or even get up until 2pm. It must be hard for her – but I’m fed up.

Should I just kick her out? Although a part of me thinks I should give her more time…

YES

Pick Me Up! reader Emily Huff says, ‘Tell your daughter that you’re sympathetic over what she’s been through, but she needs to get back on her own two feet. She’s obviously smart and I’m sure she’d do well if she focused.

These are minor bumps in the road for you both, and she was clearly destined for other things. It was right to take her in. But tell her the time has come to move on and sort her life out.’

NO

Pick Me Up! reader Michelle Slinn says, ‘No, don’t kick her out. She’s been through a lot and has come to the people she trusts and is bargaining on you being there for her. If you kick her out, it’ll be another kick in the teeth. Build her self-esteem instead of trying to knock it. Go to the Jobcentre with her and look at online courses. Give her reason to get out of bed. The worst thing you could do now is to kick her out.’