Your dilemmas…

Ihad my first child 18 months ago with my ex-boyfriend, but he bolted before I went into labour. He’s never met his son, and only seen pictures of him online. He never made any effort to get in touch or apologise, but now he wants to see his son and make amends.

I think it’s too little, too late – he’s missed too many big milestones. I don’t want him back, but should I let him be a dad? My son deserves to know his father, but not one that will leave again.

YES

Pick Me Up! reader Penny Hill says, ‘If you don’t let this relationship develop, your son may resent you in the future. If your ex messes up, be there for your child, but he will know you didn’t stand in the way of a relationship with his dad. If you try to prevent your ex being a dad it could backfire. Show your son you can put your feelings aside to cater to his.’

NO

Pick Me Up! reader Jackie Wilson says, ‘The fact that your ex abandoned you before you went into labour reflects the kind of person he is. I definitely wouldn’t want him involved in my child’s life, especially if there’s a risk he might choose to come and go as he pleases. He can go down official channels to gain access to his son. You don’t need to entertain him if you don’t want to. You don’t owe him anything. For now, just do you!’