My lady bits are made out of jelly beans!
An unusual cake request became a rude awakening for baker Lynn Garricks, 49, from Aylesbury
As buttocks go, these were big, round and very, very pink.
‘Too pink?’ I mused to my workmate Susanne, 44.
‘I don’t want him looking like a baboon!’
Susanne looked at the cake I’d just made. It was of a man’s bare bum, and it was for someone’s hen party.
‘Looks good enough to eat!’ she laughed as I iced on a black thong for modesty.
Back in 2004, raunchy cakes were a standard feature in the bakery where I worked.
Nestled cheekily alongside the innocent wedding cakes.
I’d never planned on becoming a cake decorator.
But back in November 1990, aged 21, I’d taken on a temporary job at my local bakery, and never left.
After 14 years learning on the job, I was a dab hand with a piping bag.
But that summer, me and Susanne were given sad news – the bakery was closing.
Locking the door for the last time, I turned to Susanne.
‘We could do this,’ I exclaimed.
‘Run our own bakery?’ she gasped.
‘Our own cake company!’ I grinned.
So a month on, in August 2004, we set up the Aylesbury Cake Company.
Susanne was a master at creating stunning wedding cakes. My talent lay in moulding quirky figurines.
In January 2013, my sisterin-law Michelle, 37, called me up with a rather unusual cake request.
‘Could you make some vagina fairy cakes for a hen do?’ she whispered nervously. ‘Why not?’ I laughed.
I’d iced plenty of bosom cakes and penis cakes in the past. What were a few lady-bit cupcakes?
As I set about designing them, I called to Susanne, ‘Could you grab me some pink jelly beans?’
‘What for?’ she asked. Then she blushed as the naughty penny dropped!
Suffice to say, the cakes were a smash hit. Word about our X-rated bakes was spreading like wildfire.
Every month, we’d get calls for new crude or gruesome showstoppers. Soon, at least half our cakes were being ordered from the naughty section.
‘Could you do a baby being born, for a baby shower?’ one customer said. If that’s what they want, who am I to say no? But I’m not sure the guests will ever look at jam in the same way again!
My cake business is a labour of love
No cake is too cheeky for me!