Perfect fit
Michelle Stanley, 54, from Staffordshire, vowed to watch her grandchildren grow up…
Sitting on the sofa with my granddaughters, we snuggled up to watch a film. ‘Nana, can we have pizza?’ the girls asked.
‘Yes, let’s go get one,’ my husband, Steve, 56, jumped in.
We loved spending time with our six granddaughters, but as we were both on the larger side, it rarely involved leaving the house.
Instead, we made cakes and watched lots of films together.
After having our own four children, both mine and Steve’s weight piled on.
We had our youngest three one after the other, so we were definitely busy, and my weight was the least of my concerns.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t one of those mum’s who just snapped back.
Over the years, as the kids grew up, I became a yo-yo dieter, constantly trying to lose the weight.
I’d sometimes lose up to a stone at a time, but then I’d fall off the wagon and turn back to cakes and biscuits.
And every time I fell off, I put even more weight on than I started with.
Despite always cooking a homemade meal, everything would be crammed with butter, oil and cream.
And whenever the kids were in bed, both me and Steve would gorge on sweets and chocolate.
We fell into bad habits, and ignored our growing bulges.
Steve loved a beer and fry up, and I was definitely a cheese lover.
And once the kids moved out, things only got worse.
With a little more money, we ordered Indian and Chinese takeaways once a week, and treated ourselves to date nights at restaurants.
‘You look beautiful,’ Steve would always tell me, but the more my weight piled on, the less I felt it.
‘I look fat in this dress,’ I’d tell him, hoping no one would notice when we were out.
Of course, it was nice to spend quality time together, but all those calories were adding up.
Our diets were completely out of control and my confidence had plummeted, but I never let it show.
Hiding behind the bulge, I put on a bubbly front.
Chatting away to anyone, you wouldn’t have known just how sad I was on the inside.
At a size 24, I hated going clothes shopping.
Despite loving fashion, I’d only buy something when I needed it and even then, I’d never try it on in store.
Between not being able to play with our grandchildren and lacking confidence, I was utterly miserable.
But my health was now struggling, too.
As a heavy smoker, I couldn’t walk a few yards without getting out of breath, and I also had high blood pressure.
And Steve wasn’t much better – with chronic asthma, he could barely tie his shoelaces without panting.
We knew things were bad, but we were in a rut. Only, after changing doctors in October 2017, I was given the wake-up call I needed.
‘If you don’t do something about your weight, you won’t be here in a year’s time,’ my doctor told me. ‘You’re obese.’
My blood pressure was through the roof and my heart was racing at a dangerously high speed.
‘You’re at risk of having a stroke,’ he told me.
As I listened to his words, my mind raced to the girls.
I won’t get to see them grow up, I thought to myself.
Walking out of the surgery, I burst into tears.
‘What’s wrong?’ Steve asked as I got into the car.
Telling him everything, I vowed there and then to change. I had to.
So, that day, I threw away all my cigarettes and decided to start eating healthy.
During my years of yo-yo dieting, I had joined Weight Watchers – now WW – and still had the old books and recipes cards.
So, I used those to kickstart
things off.
Suddenly changing my diet and lifestyle was going to be a challenge, but the thought of not being here to watch my granddaughters grow up was even harder.
I threw myself into the diet, but a few weeks later, I was diagnosed with diabetes.
It runs in my family, so it wasn’t exactly a huge shock, but it gave me even more of a reason to sort my life out.
And it must have prompted something in Steve, too. ‘We’ll do it together,’ he said. With me starting at 18st 10lb and Steve 14st, we had a long way to go, but were determined to finally beat the bulge.
Following the old WW books, I ditched the butter, cheese and cream and started making healthy alternatives.
Steve cut down on the beers and soon, we both started seeing results.
In the first four months, I lost nearly 3st on my own!
My clothes started to loosen, and my energy levels were up. Only, suddenly, I plateaued. I couldn’t shed even a pound. ‘I need to go to group,’ I told Steve. ‘But I can’t go alone.’
Still lacking in selfconfidence, the thought of walking into a group session on my own terrified me. Luckily, Steve was on board. ‘We’ll go together,’ he smiled. In our first week, I lost 7lb and Steve 4lb!
Going to group and talking to other slimmer’s gave us the encouragement to keep going and really reign things in.
It was the push we needed, but we soon realised it wasn’t quite right for us, so we switched groups and have been there ever since.
It’s clear that tough love works for me and I need to be held accountable.
Naturally, there are weeks where I maintain or even put on, but I always pull it back in.
Now, I weigh a svelte 11st 10lb and Steve 10st.
Together we’ve lost a whopping 11st and we’ve reaped the benefits.
We’re both on the path to reversing years of damage.
I’ve managed to get both my diabetes and blood pressure under control and Steve struggles much less with his asthma.
We love going for long walks together with the dog and we each do our own bit of exercise at the gym and at dance classes.
I can even walk into a store and buy a slinky size 12 outfit.
But more than that, we’re getting to create new and wonderful memories with the children. Now, instead of sitting on the sofa and watching films, we take them to the park and play with them. And when they ask for pizza, we make a healthy one together. ‘This is delicious!’ they laugh, with flour still all down them. They love their new fun and active grandparents grandparents.
On the whole, we haven’t changed our diets too much.
I still cook everything, but it’s done in a healthy way without the fat. We still eat crisps and cookies, but we don’t overindulge and it’s often lowlow-calorie alternatives. I’m so thankful I got to do this journey with Steve. We’ve always had a strong marriage, but now we get to do all these new things together. Quality time is no longer spent on the sofa, but out on a long romantic walk. Before we used to spur each other on to eat badly, but now we do the opposite. If one of us craves a takeaway, the other brings us back in line. Whilst we definitely do still treat ourselves, now it’s all about moderation. I’m hoping to get down to 10st, but I’m taking it easy easy. Whilst losing weight has brought health benefits to both of us, it’s given us something much more important.
It’s given us the chance to watch our wonderful grandchildren grow up. We now get to be an active part in their lives and for us, that’s more satisfying than any bar of chocolate.
I need tough love to stay on track