A rollercoaster ride
Clinton Kilpatrick, 37, from Belfast Tell us about your experience with fostering – why did you want to start?
Living through the complexities of Covid made me reassess my own life at that time.
I am someone who has a lot to give to others and I knew that I was in a position to be able to consider looking after someone else.
I didn’t have my own children, and even though I was a single man, it was always something that I had considered.
I started to think about other ways of including family within my life and, therefore, I sought out information around fostering.
I knew that I wanted to create a supportive space for young people to learn, feel valued, and to thrive.
My first question to FCA was whether a single, gay, male could foster.
There was an instantaneous yes as a response and now I sit here already one and a half years into my fostering story.
To date it has been a ride so it’s just a good thing I like rollercoasters!
As I have learnt about what fostering is, I have fundamentally learnt that I love it and it has removed any desire of having a biological family. Providing that supportive space for others who need it is what it’s all about. There are two things in my life that are perfect for me – being an artist and being a foster parent.
The foster child that I have in my care now is an amazing young person! He is kind, funny, sarcastic, smart and fantastic.
Most days are funny and engaging and it has been amazing watching him grow over the last year.
Is it something that we should all consider?
I think this is a very personal and individual question and my answer would be no.
You should consider fostering if you feel drawn to it and if you feel as though you have the time to facilitate it.
Then, I would say that if you are feeling drawn to it then you shouldn’t be afraid to step into the realm.
What has become apparent to me is that fostering can be quite difficult.
Often it is not solely about looking after a child but, instead, working with the many varying conversations surrounding that child, from social workers to family and school staff.
Thankfully, I have an amazing group of friends around me who help provide support and who I rely on regularly to problem solve.
Tell us more about your role as a foster parent so far...
I think, on a personal level, that fostering has already taught me so much more about life and my own sense of self.
I am extremely empathetic, so I have no option but to sit in endless thoughts.
Within all of my community work, I always sought to home in on an individual’s needs in order to better allow them to develop in a way that suited them.
I see my fostering role in much of the same way.
You are looking at a child for who they are, in order to let them develop, whilst creating a space that has boundaries and that is safe and fun.
It has been amazing watching him grow