SHE’S MINE
Sophie Henson, 23, from Bridgend, thought her first boyfriend would be the man of her dreams...
Pulling up to pick up my date, I was greeted by a pretty bouquet of M&S flowers. Back in August 2020, I was finally going on a date with Zach.
I knew him through a mutual friend, and he seemed quite full of himself – but I found his cockiness quite attractive and whenever Zach saw me, he’d wink at me.
‘She’s going to be mine one day,’ I found out he had told our mutual friend.
I found it really exciting. Because at 19, I’d never had a proper boyfriend.
I had my daughter Alice two months prior to meeting Zach, but I’d always been very shy and wasn’t used to this romantic attention.
At the time, I was 29st and wearing a size 30 – it made me feel very self-conscious. So when I met Zach, I appreciated the flattery, especially as a new mum.
After messaging on social media for a while, he took me to a cabin with a hot tub for our first date – and from that moment on, we were besotted. ‘You’re nothing I’ve ever had before,’ he told me. ‘I think you’re the one.’
I was instantly flattered by his charm and spending more and more time together, Zach was round mine all the time.
At the time, my parents Maureen, 62, and Karl, 60, were staying at my flat. Dad was disabled and Mum needed an extra hand with his care.
When Zach came round, he’d disappear off into my room, so my parents didn’t spend much time with him – they didn’t form much of an opinion of him at first.
But Zach made me feel special and we had a similar sense of humour – we’d always be up laughing and joking.
On 17 October, after dating for two months, Zach had a row with his dad, who he lived with, and asked to stay with me.
‘Can I stay a couple of nights, and then I’ll go to my sisters?’ he asked.
Only, he moved in permanently – and two weeks later he wanted us to have the flat to ourselves.
‘Can you please ask your mum to move out?’ he said. ‘We don’t get any time together.’ ‘I’m not sure,’ I replied. ‘Just say that you’re older and have found a nice boyfriend,’ he told me.
Believing that Zach had my best interests at heart, I did as he asked, and Mum agreed to move back into her house.
‘It’s a bit abrupt,’ she told me, but respected my decision.
I was in a bubble with Zach, believing that I’d found my happy ending.
‘I’m accepting all your baggage,’ Zach would tell me.
I found he would continue to make little digs at me.
‘Oh no, you look better with makeup on,’ he would say as I got ready.
He even began picking out my clothes and telling me how to do my hair.
But I thought this was just what having a boyfriend was like.
Only, two weeks after Mum and Dad moved out, I saw a different side to Zach.
Sat on the sofa, my phone pinged as Alice’s dad messaged me about childcare.
Angrily snatching my phone out of my hands, Zach smashed the screen.
‘Who do you think you are?’ he bellowed. ‘Your mother can do all that. I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you so don’t wreck it.’
‘I’m sorry!’ I cried, panicking – it was horrible.
I was terrified – I’d never seen that side of him.
Apologising to me afterwards, I hoped we’d be able to move on.
But this was just the start of Zach’s behaviour – he only became more and more emotionally abusive...
‘I’m the best thing to happen to you’
Zach quickly banned me from seeing my mum, monitoring my phone to make sure we weren’t in contact. Mum would call the police for a welfare check on me every day but I’d always tell the officers I was fine, too scared of Zach’s reaction.
It was so unusual for me to be so out of contact with Mum, ignoring her messages. She knew something was wrong.
They eventually assigned me a social worker, but Zach wouldn’t let me speak to her.
He would smash the house up and call me horrible names if I didn’t do as he wanted.
At the time he was working at a warehouse and would make me sit in the freezing car park while he worked, so that he could keep an eye on me.
‘You’ve already got kids, you’re dodgy,’ he spitefully accused. ‘I need to make sure I can trust you.’
Alice had to stay with Mum, as it wasn’t safe at home. I didn’t want to be apart from my child, but I didn’t know what else to do.
‘Do you want her tonight?’ Mum would ask me, but I always said no.
I still got to spend time with Alice when Zach allowed me to, but it was tough.
Home alone with Zach, he would lock us both in the bedroom – I wasn’t even allowed to go to the toilet.
I felt trapped and degraded. Zach forbade me from wearing makeup, having access to sanitary products and even shampoo and conditioner. All my clothes and underwear would be ripped into rags, too.
He even controlled my diet. Grabbing a bin bag, he’d empty the entire contents of the fridge and ration me to a quarter of a Pot Noodle a day.
‘You’re fat, I don’t want to be seen with you looking like that,’ he spat.
And in just a couple of short years I’d lost 19st from Zach starving me.
I felt weak and my clothes were so baggy on me.
People no longer recognised me when I bumped into them in the street.
Forcing me to stand in front of the mirror, this was just another of his cruel games.
‘I’m fat and useless,’ he’d force me to repeat.
‘I’m having sex with my family members,’ he’d continue, nastily.
‘No, I don’t want to say that,’ I’d beg in tears.
It was a form of mental torture.
My self-esteem was rock bottom, and I was so isolated, too.
And when my dad passed away aged 60 on 8 February 2022, I felt even more alone. He only let me go to the funeral on 28 February for just
45 minutes.
‘You’re not speaking to any family,’ he’d warned me. ‘I’ll wreck the whole thing, I don’t care.’
I wasn’t allowed to hug any of my male family members, and I could tell my relatives were upset and hurting – but there was nothing they could do. I just had to keep my distance.
And when we got home, Zach was in a blind rage.
‘You think I won’t choke you like a chicken?’ he screamed. ‘I’ll chuck your body onto a train track.’
But in April 2022, on a trip to Swansea, Zach proposed.
We had a lovely date of mini golf and a meal – it was the second date we’d ever been on. Zach always claimed he was too embarrassed to be seen with me after our first.
‘I’ll change, I feel comfortable with you,’ he promised, reading a huge proposal off his phone.
This is my happy ever after,i thought, accepting his promise.
Despite everything, I still loved him and believed he loved me, too.
But the abuse didn’t stop. ‘No one cares about you,’ he said. ‘If you say no, another girl will tell me yes – you’ll lose me, I’m a f ***** g king.’
Zach would continue trashing the house, setting the sofa alight and putting fags out on the upholstery.
Every day I thought Zach might hurt me and I began fearing for my life.
I hope you’re OK, Mum messaged me in September.
But Zach went crazy. The day after the message he screamed at me and Alice – who I was looking after that day – as we drove down narrow country lanes.
He even smashed my phone so I couldn’t call the police.
‘Alice, you’re going to watch your mum get murdered,’ he spat at us, before walking out of the car.
I’d finally had enough.
I couldn’t be with Zach anymore – he terrified me.
And when he was out of the house, I left him.
Going to stay with Mum, I started rebuilding my life.
I got my hair done, bought some new dresses and even started dating again, finding out I was pregnant at the end of November 2022.
But on 14 December, Zach showed up at my door, holding a bunch of flowers.
‘I want my wife-to-be back,’ he said. ‘I’ve changed.’
He seemed like a little boy
Every day I thought he might hurt me
stood in front of me and I really did love him.
‘I’m pregnant,’ I told him as we caught up.
‘Who knows?’ he asked. ‘No one, it’s only been a few weeks,’ I replied.
‘Just tell everyone it’s mine,’ Zach said.
We had a really lovely evening, talking and laughing like old times.
But it wasn’t long before Zach hated my new look and confidence, making me swap back to baggy tracksuits.
What’s more, Zach wouldn’t let me see a doctor about my pregnancy and wouldn’t even allow me to tell anyone that I was pregnant.
He kept my car keys, purse and passport under his pillow so I couldn’t leave.
Things were getting worse – but after an incident with the police, I was taken to hospital where I discovered I was 34 weeks pregnant with a little boy.
I was over the moon but also really terrified.
And getting home, Zach asked a million questions.
‘Why did they take you to hospital?’ he pestered me.
‘They realised that I was pregnant,’ I replied, quietly.
And Zach was furious that other people knew – he wanted to keep the pregnancy a total secret.
Zach was becoming more erratic, and even forced us to sleep in the car in case my mum came round.
I didn’t eat or sleep for four days, having to drink water from service station taps.
But on 12 June 2023, Zach’s behaviour elevated to a new extreme.
Driving back from ASDA, he was screaming as he drove.
Hitting a fence at 60mph, he ripped my seatbelt off me.
‘We’re all going to die,’ he said, spitting at me.
Slamming on the breaks, Zach turned to me.
‘I’m going to kill you and put your body in the boot,’ he snarled menacingly. Placing his hands tightly around my throat, Zach began to strangle me.
Hitting me at the same time, I felt my body completely conk out.
‘You’re not f ***** g dying, you stupid c**t,’ he screamed. ‘You’re dying on my terms.’
I fell unconscious but could still hear him screaming at me.
‘This baby is going to die, I don’t want it!’ he snarled.
It went on for what felt like an eternity – but eventually Zach ran away.
Starting the car, I drove to the first house I could find for help, screaming the whole way.
I felt like I was in a daze – I had no idea how long I’d passed out for – and I was terrified Zach would jump out at me as I drove.
Calling my uncle from a kind old couple’s home, I was taken to hospital where 15 police officers were waiting. Zach was quickly arrested, and I knew I couldn’t go back to him.
Never again, I vowed. Staying in hospital for a few days, thankfully my baby boy was fine.
Going home, Zach was kept on remand until his trial. Behind bars, I knew that he couldn’t hurt me anymore.
Baby Paul was born on 8 July last year, weighing a healthy 6lb 8oz.
All I wanted was to move on with my kids.
But first I had to get justice. Zach initially pleaded not guilty to coercive control and strangulation, but changed his plea on 5 December – the day the trial was due to start.
This meant I didn’t have to face him in court.
Zach Pennell, now 27, was sentenced to 21 months in prison at Cardiff Crown Court on 15 January this year.
It does not feel like enough time for all I went through over four years. I felt like I was playing roulette with the devil.
Now, I am trying to rebuild my life. I’ve met a new partner who is lovely and adores the kids – he worships the ground I walk on.
I take Alice to nursery every day and see Mum for a coffee every week. After spending years isolated from my family and Alice, now three, I’m making up for lost time.
Now instead of a trashed house, I have toys and happiness throughout.
Zach never loved me, I know that now. And the Zach I fell in love with didn’t exist either.
He was nothing but a cruel, manipulative monster.
Leaving your abuser can feel like one of the hardest things you can do.
But it would be harder for your family to lay you to rest.
Leaving doesn’t make you cruel – it might save your life.