Something’s not right
Hannah Huxford, 49, from Grimsby, thought she’d finally got her life back after an affirming diagnosis...
Clocking into work at the local car centre, I prepared to start my shift of selling cars back in January 2020.
Only, my boss Nathan beckoned me into a separate room.
‘Don’t take this the wrong way,’ he began. ‘But I think you’ve got ADHD.’ At first, I was stunned.
But deep down, I knew he was right. Knowing that Nathan had worked in mental health before, I trusted him.
‘I’m so pleased you’ve said that,’ I said. ‘I’ve been suspecting it for years.’
I’d always known I was different. When I was little, I was pulled out of a play group because I was too disruptive – becoming overstimulated by all the noises, I’d thrown a tantrum.
In school, I found myself pretending copying my peers to blend in.
My classmates loved Madonna, so I didn’t just like her, too – I wanted to become Madonna by copying her style.
I also struggled with concentration and I was even held back a year in school.
Throughout my life, I was a peoplepleaser – falling into the wrong crowds, I battled with shopping addiction, poor time management and being impulsive with money.
Hopping between jobs, I somehow landed on my feet every time.
But I always knew something wasn’t right.
Why don’t I think or act like other people?
So, I checked in with my GP – only to be diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
And so I didn’t get clarity until I met with Nathan in 2020.
Kickstarting the diagnosis process, I was lucky to wait two years – the NHS waiting list can be extremely long.
And in June 2022, I was diagnosed with ADHD Combined – moderate to severe – PTSD and dyslexia at age 47.
Instantly, I felt I’d gained my life back. The diagnosis explained so much.
Writing my book, The Secret Diary of an ADHD Martyr, helped me process it all.
A few months after my diagnosis, my consultant suggested I take medication to help manage my symptoms.
I was prescribed Concerta XL tablets to take on a regular basis.
It helped me feel more alert and allowed me to focus when I needed to.
Yet in January this year, as I put in my prescription, I faced a huge shock.
‘We can’t prescribe your dose due to the shortage,’ my psychiatrist explained. Immediately, I panicked. Instead, my psychiatrist issued me a higher dose, which was more accessible. Yet that became harder to get, too. Should I ration my tablets? I thought. I went 16 days without my medication. It completely derailed my life, disrupting my work routine and making me unable to complete tasks efficiently.
Now, every month, I face the same stress of ringing my pharmacy to check if they can prescribe my medication.
While me and so many others are still waiting for the shortage to be resolved, I’ve found a valuable support network online in the meantime. Connecting with Laura, the creator of the podcast ADHD AF, I’ve made a few close friends who can relate to me.
Those support networks have been a lifeline for me.
And it’s stopped me feeling like I’m going back to square one again.