I want to see my son but his girlfriend is anxious
QMy son started living with his girlfriend in January, so it’s been quite a test for them living together fulltime during lockdown. His girlfriend is almost too worried to leave the house, and if he does get her outside, she can’t wait to get back home. MyhusbandandIwanttosee them. They live a couple of hours away, so we’d like them to stay over, but she won’t even consider it. How do we get her to realise we’re just going to have to learn to live with this virus and get on with life?
I’m afraid anyone who is naturally anxious is likely to become more so at the present time. When you’re anxious like this, all you really want to do is hide from the world. This young woman needs to remind herself that she’s worthwhile and that she’s important – she needs more confidence. She might also find counselling helpful, so she could contact her GP. The Counselling Directory (counselling-directory.org.uk) has a huge section you could refer her to.
QTwo months ago, my partner died from suicide and I don’t know how I’m ever going to get over it. It was the best time of my life. My husband and I had never had children, and so to become part of a wider family, with children and grandchildren, was wonderful.
I didn’t realise how serious his depression was. I tried to reassure him, but it wasn’t enough. I just can’t understand how he could leave me like this. Why wasn’t I enough for him?
I’m so very, very sorry to read about your partner. Please don’t think you weren’t enough for him. You are in no way to blame for his death. When someone reaches that point of despair, they are consumed by their own worries and anxieties.
I would urge you to reach out for help at Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (uksobs.org). You will find people who understand what you’re going through. The helpline is 0300 111 5065 from 9am-9pm. At other times, don’t forget the Samaritans helpline on 116 123.
Write to Fiona Caine c/o Annie Lewis, 1000 Lakeside, North Harbour, Portsmouth PO6 3EN or annie.lewis@JPImedia.co.uk. Fiona regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence, nor pass letters on to other readers.