Give child a second chance ‘They are so grateful and it shows how we take things for granted’
Foster Portsmouth finds homes for vulnerable children across the area where they will feel safe and loved. ANNIE LEWIS hears from three sets of foster carers what their experience has been like and how opening their homes to children who need them is the
Rachel Elkington always dreamed of having a big family. ‘I got divorced quite young and I have two boys of my own, but I always wanted four children,’ explains Rachel, 45.
‘My best friend fostered and my mum adopted me so I had thought about fostering before. I was very grateful for the life I was given when I was adopted and would consider myself as one of the lucky ones.
‘I have a lot of room and love to give. It’s very rewarding to give a child a second chance.’
Eighteen years later and Rachel, from Cosham, is still fostering children who need a loving home. Her sons – now 21 and 23 – grew up with foster children living with them.
She says: ‘The boys have told me that they like sharing their mum and they know how much I love children.
“I think growing up with children who have had little when they first came to live with us has taught my sons to be empathetic young men.’
The children Rachel has fostered have stayed with her for any time between two weeks and five years.
‘I think I have fostered around 30 children during my time as a foster parent and I still speak to nearly all of them,’ says Rachel, smiling.
‘They are so grateful and it shows how we take things for granted. It makes it more worthwhile.
‘I have looked after a child who had never eaten vegetables before.
“One of them asked me why their bed sheets smelled of flowers, because they would have previously never had their sheets changed.’
Like all foster parents, Rachel got ‘great’ support when it came to say goodbye to the young people who had lived with her.
‘It does break my heart when I have to say goodbye. But Foster Portsmouth does a lot of work with you about attachment and support.
‘I still feel a sense of loss but they come round for dinner and normally still drop their clothes round to get washed,’ says Rachel, laughing.
‘We are a huge part of their journey.’
Rachel, who is a single carer, says she would always recommend fostering but you have to have thick skin.
She explains: ‘The children don’t always want to be with you. No matter what their parents have done, they still love their mum and dad.
‘You can get your heart broken and your soul destroyed, thinking you can never reach this child. But one day, they could say something as small as ‘thank you’ and it makes it all feel worthwhile.
‘You get a lot of support from your family placement team. They do not get enough credit.
‘They work so hard and have so much to do but are so incredibly helpful.
“They will listen to your needs and who you think would fit best with your family.
‘If you have room in your home and your heart, you should foster. We don’t give up on our own children so how can we give up on them?’
Rachel, who became a proud grandmother earlier this year, is looking forward to a family Christmas with her two sons and her 15-year-old foster child who is living with her at the moment.
‘I love my house being busy and I thrive in chaos – organised chaos, of course,’ says Rachel, smiling.
‘We do need more foster carers. We need young carers too, people who have the energy and the get-up-and-go.
‘It doesn’t matter whether you’re single or married, what gender, age or sexuality you are, Foster Portsmouth is looking for people from all walks of life.’