Fostering has kept us young, say couple
After Sharon and Bob Palmer’s son left home, Sharon experienced empty nest syndrome.
‘ We had th i s fou r -b ed - room house and nobody in it. I got a dog to hopefully cure my sadness of empty nest syndrome. As much as we love the dog, it didn’t work,’ says Sharon, while she laughs with her husband Bob.
Eight years ago, the couple seriously started talking about fostering and went along to an event at the Spinnaker Tower, hosted by Foster Portsmouth.
‘And the rest is history. We spoke to people from Foster Portsmouth and othe foster carers. They sold the idea to us,’ says Bob, 61.
The couple, who live in Leigh Park, say the process to become foster carers is intense however they were supported every step of the way.
‘In the back of my mind, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to let them go,’ admits Sharon, 59.
‘Social workers started coming round once a week for a couple of months. They go into a lot of depth about your childhood and how you are as a parent.
‘If you ever wanted to bury something or went into fostering for the wrong reasons, they would know about it.
‘It was fairly therapeutic though. I cried a lot.’
After they were approved, the Palmers homed their first foster child in 2016 and have fostered a total of eight children during the past four years.
‘The first night, neither of us slept a wink. I was just hoping she was okay and wasn’t scared. But we soon relaxed,’ says Bob. ‘We were authorised to have up to three foster children and a fortnight after getting our first, we had a set of siblings who were 12 and 15.
‘It may have been daunting but I just went into fullon parenting mode and got on with it.’
Sharon says she still finds it heartbreaking when they leave, but through being able to connect with them on social media and through support from Foster Portsmouth, she has found the entire experience rewarding from beginning to end.
She explains: ‘Some really suffer with attachment issues and feel like they’re being disloyal to their parents by bonding with you.
‘Some have gone through such awful things which we can’t comprehend.’
‘But you get lots of help and support to cope with it. Just this past month, I have been doing a lot of online courses, says Bob.
With their two dogs and three foster children, the Palmers are a very happy family. Their son, Michael, has always supported them and sees himself as their big brother.
‘During lockdown, we felt it was important to keep everyone in a routine,’ adds Bob.
‘ We a l l go t u p a s i f w e were going to school and did Joe Wicks’ workout. We did school work until 1pm and then lots of TikTok dances.
‘We also put on a prom for our eldest one who missed out. Bob wore a suit and we all got dressed up. It was lovely,’ says Sharon, smiling.
Looking back, both Bob and Sharon have no regrets. Sharon says: ‘Fostering has kept us young. It is incredibly rewarding to see them be happy. They can sometimes arrive with no self confidence and it’s amazing to see them bloom.’