I’ve developed feelings for an old university friend

Q

I’m have a been woman happily of 44 married and to a lovely man for 19 years. Recently I met an old friend I hadn’t seen since we were 19 and at university together. She’s 18 months older than me and has never married or had a family, but has instead worked at her career and is very successful. My problem is that I think I’m attracted to her, and I’m really concerned by this because I have always loved my husband and children. I am so confused because surely, I can’t be a lesbian after all this time.

A

If are husband, you attracted still then love to and perhaps your seeing an old friend has brought back exciting memories of being 19 and experiencing the freedom of university life together. You can be attracted to people in all kinds of ways and that attraction doesn’t always have to be sexual.

It’s exciting to come across an old friend again – and good friends are few and far between. So, re-establishing a strong bond after years apart is bound to involve a measure of love and attraction to one another.

Q

five years, Three left daughter We’d and my my he been months three-year-old husband, was with married (and me. ago, still taking I for is) only very a very naïve 21 when heavy because I married drinker. I didn’t him I was realise and when how he aggressive gets drunk. he He would hit me get frequently and it took a lot for me to gather up my things and run. I’ve now started divorce proceedings. I should be relieved but, some days all I can do is sit on my bed and cry.

A

There wrong all. You’ve is with nothing shown you at great courage by moving out. Anyone who has had to cope with domestic violence knows how difficult it is to find the courage to escape. What you now need to do is hang on to the knowledge that you’ve made the right decision. I’m sure you do still love him – but who you love is the man you thought you married, not the man he turned out to be. I’m sure that, had you seen the violent side of him when you first met, you would never have married him.

Write to Fiona Caine c/o Hollie Busby, 1000 Lakeside, North Harbour, Portsmouth PO6 3EN or hollie.busby@jpimedia.co.uk Fiona regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence, nor pass letters on to other readers.