Just how old is too old to be scoffing Easter eggs?
It is Holy Week and in a fitting quirk of fate, I am also making a rather unexpected sudden return. Although this is a far less grand return than when Jesus of Nazareth made his big comeback 2,000 years ago. But have never met an allegory or reference I can’t butcher when writing this column, so I couldn’t resist.
I am not even sure if you will have noticed my absence in recent weeks dear reader, perhaps you even felt relieved at not having to endure my weekly selfindulgence.
Perhaps in time I will touch more on my disappearance during the month of March, but for this week I am focused on more pressing matters.
I am not sure whether I should buy myself an Easter egg.
My sweet tooth will probably be my inevitable downfall, but there is just something irresistible about chocolate. I am like a helpless moth drawn to its enticing flame.
But I am never sure if there is a cut off point for buying (or receiving) an Easter egg.
Does the Easter bunny pay a visit to you no matter your age, like Father Christmas, or can you age out - like waving goodbye to childhood.
Or do you end up having to go for a more ‘adult’ Easter egg, like one of those made from cheese - I take it they haven’t found a way to turn them alcoholic yet, unlike advent calendars.
I don’t even want to imagine what kind of monstrous shape a beer Easter egg would take. Like a boggart taking the form of your worst nightmare.
Perhaps I should just accept the fact that I am a grown man and can make my own decisions. So if I want to eat a chocolate egg, I can eat a chocolate egg.
But unfortunately I often find myself struggling with a bad case of main character syndrome - crippled by fears that I may be judged by wandering eyes, or the cashier, as I make my purchase. As if I am something more than simply yet another face in an endless crowd.
So if you think I should treat myself to an Easter egg send me your thoughts to my email and I will treat them as some form of impromptu referendum. With the results to come next week.