I’ve been lonely at home since my husband died

QAI am 78 and have lived alone since my husband died four years ago. I made the decision to stay in the house we’d shared together for more than 40 years. It was hard at first, being around the things we’d shared. However, these memories helped me through the difficult times.

I will always miss him – but feel that I can now move on from grieving. I have been wondering if I should share my home with someone. Ideally, a friend who is all ready settled. Sharing your home will require you to make some key decisions and a few compromises. Could you cope with having less privacy? How would you feel if they decide to bring family, friends or lovers back to your house? You should be aware that people are often on their best behaviour at the start of things like this, and that bad or annoying habits will often surface. I suggest you talk firstly to your friends. It’s possible one of them may welcome the change or may know someone who is suitable.

QAA friend of mine has been seeing a guy for about three years, they get on well together and I am happy for them. However, when I mentioned in video chat recently that I liked him, she got angry and hung up. I called her back right away and have been calling her every day for a week, but she will not answer.

I didn’t mean that I fancied her boyfriend – only that he’s a good man and she’s lucky to have him. I hate the idea that I have lost a good friend over this. It was possibly tactless saying you ‘liked’ him, but I also wonder if your friend’s overreaction is because her relationship is not as great as it appears?

If you want to rescue your friendship you are going to have to find a way to contact her. If she won’t pick up calls or video chats, try email or an old-fashioned letter – or failing that, perhaps go and visit her? When you do make contact, apologise, and make it clear you were not expressing interest in her boyfriend, just saying how good they were together.