Dear Fiona
My colleague is forever putting me down and I can’t cope anymore
Q
I am having a big problem at work and don’t know what to do for the best. There is a man who reports to the lady who hired me, who is my immediate boss, and he has taken against me from the start. He is forever criticising what I’ve done workwise, but he goes further than that, criticising what I wear, the way I look. He runs me down so much and it’s getting to the point that I can’t do anything.
A
: Your company should have a policy to deal with this and you could ask your HR department whether there is such a policy and say you would like to see it. Harassment in the workplace is unlawful. If you are having to deal with insults relating to age, disability, gender reassignment, race, religion or belief, sex, or sexual orientation then this comes under the Equality Act too. If this is the case, then you should most definitely raise the issue with your HR department, as they should be dealing with it.
Q
: I have been happy with my boyfriend for some time, but things have changed between us and I don’t know what to do. We went to a party together and met another couple there where we got very drunk. Apparently, we swapped partners and according to my boyfriend, not only did I make love to the other guy but to the girl as well.
A
He wants to do it all again, but the thought of it really turns me off. You are being neither silly nor a prude. Just because your boyfriend enjoyed this group encounter, that is no reason why you should have to. If your instincts tell you this is wrong for you, then go with what you feel. And don’t let your boyfriend – or anyone else – pressurise you into doing something that you don’t want to do, whatever it is. If he tries to force you into this, then I think you need to think carefully as to whether he is the right person for you at all.
Write to Fiona Caine c/o Hollie Busby, 1000 Lakeside, North Harbour, Portsmouth PO6 3EN or hollie.busby@jpimedia.co.uk Fiona regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence, nor pass letters on to other readers.