‘This is the lowest point of my life, I will change’
From his vantage point in the bowling alley, John Westwood could glimpse Pompey’s sizeable travelling faithful occupying the Kassam Stadium’s North Stand.
Having been slapped with a five-month ban by the Blues, the 60-year-old’s enforced match-day disconnect has sunk him to the lowest point in his life.
Westwood’s proud record of being present at every Pompey fixture since 1979 is in tatters, with four suspensions this season dictating his absence totals 20 games so far this term.
Instead of watching his beloved Pompey take on Oxford United recently, the Hollywood Bowl in the adjacent Ozone Leisure Park served as the 60-year-old’s surroundings for the evening.
A total of 1,461 Pompey fans ventured up the A34 for the 1-1 midweek draw, yet one of their number had been left behind.
‘I regret things I’ve done, but there was no malice in any of them, no intention to upset or offend anyone,’ Westwood told The News.
‘The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt the club, I love this football club. I am just a silly man with a big hat who shows his passion in a different way. I’m no more passionate than any other Pompey fan.
‘But I’m a dinosaur, I admit it. The world is changing around us so quickly and things we’ve been doing for years and years are no longer the proper way any more, people may get offended. I don’t want to offend anyone.
‘We need that passion, that edginess. The whole point is to intimidate the opposing team, we are the 12th man. We’re not actually on the pitch, but we are with the players. We want to put the opposition off and to spur on our own.
‘It’s killing me not being able to go to games, a knife in my heart, but I know I have to keep it together.
‘I want to go back to Pompey and I’ll change, I’m a dinosaur, but I know I can change. What I’m not going to change is my passion, that’s me, I can’t be a sanitised version.
‘There has to be change, though, otherwise I’ll continue being barred from Pompey – and I just can’t risk that. It’s my life.’
When Pompey slipped to a 1-0 defeat at home to thenLeague One leaders Sheffield Wednesday in March, Westwood was absent for the second half.
On the club’s dedicated Her Game Too fixture, his controversial actions at halftime would prompt stewards and the police to escort him from Fratton Park, instead spending the rest of the game in the Newcome Arms pub.
Subsequently issued with a fourth ban of the campaign, The Petersfield Bookshop owner is now barred from every Pompey match, friendly and reserve fixture until August 11.
He added: ‘There’s one Fratton End steward who
I’ve known for years.
‘I won’t name him. We have a giggle at games. At half-time, with it being a Her Game Too fixture, I walked into the passageway which leads to the female toilets – not the actual toilets – and joked with him “I identify as a woman”.
‘Then a lady came out of the toilets and told me to get out – which I did.
‘I wasn’t drunk, I’d had a few, but I can hold my drink and was coherent. I was able to have a conversation with the police and the stewards which then came up to me.
‘It wasn’t intended as offensive, I was having a laugh with stewards, but I accept I should never have done it. I was wrong. Now I’m banned.
‘Since 1979, I’ve gone to every first-team game, pre-seasons, even during lockdown, sometimes stood outside the ground. My attitude is not to break the rules, but to let the team know Pompey fans are there.
‘As a kid, I vowed the Pompey Chimes would always be heard wherever Pompey played. I have to be in the same city in which Pompey are playing, even if I can’t get into the ground.
‘I’m not allowed in at the moment, but I still keep to the match-day routine as much as I can. I’ve been travelling with some of these lads for 30-40 years, across the country, across the world.
‘We’ll go to a pub beforehand and I’ll stay there while they go to the match. I continue to go to the Newcome Arms before a home game, at MK Dons I remained in The Red Lion beside a canal lock in Fenny Stratford, at Shrewsbury it was the Brooklands.
‘For Oxford it was the Hollywood Bowl outside the ground. Wherever Pompey go on a pre-season tour, I will sit in the nearest pub. I can’t not do it.
‘During the match, I don’t keep track of what’s happening, I have to detach myself because of the emotion.
Not joining everyone is like a knife through the heart, so I try not to think about football.
‘Instead I’ll talk to random people around me about anything which comes to mind. I’ll chat to them about rubbish, just pub talk with locals, anything but football.
‘It’s the only way I can get around it. And as much as it hurts, at least I’m there in the same city as Pompey, in heart and spirit.’
Westwood is charged with driving the minibus to Derby today, ferrying 15 of his friends for Pompey’s last away trip of a disappointing campaign.
Yet while his fellow fans will be attending Pride Park, he will take residence in the Navigation Inn, a 10-minute walk from the stadium.
It has been one-and-ahalf months since Westwood has been able to watch his team, yet, while he regrets his actions over the female toilets, he believes the three other incidents deemed to deserve bans this season have been blown out of proportion.
He said: ‘I know people are waiting for me to do something, I’m an easy target.
‘Every match I see supporters make hand gestures, I hear the words, people doing 10 times worse than me. I’ve even moderated my language, I don’t swear at football – yet I’m always the one blamed.
‘My first ban this season was in July, when the Fratton End was shut for the pre-season friendly against
Coventry, so we sat in North Stand Lower.
‘At half-time, the stewards told me we were making too much noise and had received complaints from Pompey fans, so me and two drummers were moved to the other end of the stand, near a Milton End with 458 Coventry fans.
‘We got the usual “Who’s the so-and-so in the hat?”, which I accepted, I didn’t do any V signs or hand gestures of any sort in response.
‘All I did was bend over and rub my bum in their direction. I didn’t drop my trousers or anything like that. I reacted in a humorous way, having a bit of fun back, football banter.
‘I admit, after seeing three Coventry lads signalling slitting my throat, I did make a gesture under my shirt, which nobody could see. I’m only human.
‘After video footage was reviewed, I received a threematch ban and was put on a police community order for a year.
‘Next was Forest Green in October, but there were extenuating circumstances. I was dying for a pee and had already been told the toilet facilities weren’t fit for purpose. When I turned up, there were lads coming out of the ground to go for a pee.
‘I joined them, around 10 of us against a wall around the corner, so nobody could see anything.
‘Afterwards, I attempted to get into the ground and the steward said “He’s not coming in, he’s had a pee”. I was the only one not allowed, everyone else who did it got in.
‘Then there was the iFollow incident in the Fratton End, which I really can’t get my head around.
‘At the end of one game, as we clapped the players off, one of my mates further up the stand was shouting things at me, so I decided to have a laugh with him.
‘I wasn’t even facing the pitch, looking the other way, and responded to him by waving my handbell between my legs. You needed to be eagle-eyed to see it – but iFollow did.
‘That was another ban – yet they could have kicked out 40-50 people in the Fratton End for hand gestures during the match.’
Westwood’s distinctive appearance invariably attracts attention at football matches, much of it unwanted, some of it unwarranted.
He had fresh tattoos applied to his face in January 2022, with a Pompey badge on each cheek, while future plans include an image of Fratton Park etched onto his back.
Also in the pipeline are facial representations of Alan Knight, Jimmy Dickinson, Barry Harris and
Kev McCormack, with the 60-year-old confident he can find the room.
Yet he’s well aware that his individuality – in terms of look and clothing – sees him increasingly singled out while supporting the Blues.
He added: ‘I’ve had to watch my back for 30 years. With away fans, you’d obviously expect that, that’s football, while I’ve always been a target for police and stewards at opposition games.
‘I’ve never intended to be this fan, it’s just an extension of my passion, but I have never been targeted at home before. When it’s your own, that hurts. And it’s happening more.
‘People ask why I dress the way I do for football, yet I’m not doing anything wrong by wearing those clothes. If they’re going to pick on me because of my clothes, that is very shallow.
‘I am proud, I’m not going to back down and roll over. I will never be told what I can wear, that’s my right isn’t it? Should people control what I wear? I won’t conform.
‘It’s all done for fun, trying to turn football into a carnival atmosphere. People have a perception of me with the tattoos and clothes. Sometimes I might be unsteady on my feet, but you try wearing those clown boots! I can trip over and automatically people think I’m drunk.
‘I’m a naughty schoolboy, I like to have a laugh, to have a giggle, I do silly schoolboy things. People take life too seriously and the whole point of football is to let your hair down and have a bit of relief.
‘At work, I have to be sensible during the week, ultra professional, it’s “yes sir, no sir”, the customer is always right, even when they are wrong. Then Pompey comes around and you let your hair down.
‘Football’s about passion and, when passion is involved, people say and do things they wouldn’t normally. They’re either angry or happy, which is fine as long as boundaries aren’t crossed.
‘At matches there’s going to be an edginess and a few words here and there, that’s football, you see worse on the TV.
‘The amount of support I’ve had from people since my latest ban has genuinely touched me. I don’t do social media at all, I don’t know what goes on, but I’ve had around 150 texts and WhatsApp messages.
‘I find that incredible. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, it has choked me. This is the lowest point of my life ever, the season from hell, and their kindness has lifted me.
‘I can change, though, and that starts with no longer pushing the boundaries, which I have done for years. I must be more aware, realise anything I do can be misconstrued – so don’t do it.
‘This ban has broken my heart, but it will never break my spirit and, when I return, I’ll go to football and sing, spending as little time as possible in the ground, before and after.
‘And do you know what, I’m going to sing even louder. That passion’s within me, you cannot take that out of someone, even if others disapprove.’