I am too frightened to stand up to my abusive monster of a husband
Ihave been married to a monster of a man for almost nine years. In that time he has terrorised me and our eight-year-old daughter, who still wets the bed almost every night. Before we got married, he was kind, gentle and funny. Then, almost to the day we got back from our honeymoon, he changed.
My needs, and those of our daughter, became completely subservient to his. If his food is late, he gets angry. If any of his clothes are not cleaned or ironed properly, he gets angry. If we make too much noise, he gets angry and shouts at us. If he asks me or my daughter to do something and it’s not done immediately or the way that he wants, he flies into a rage. My daughter is terrified of him, and I hate what he’s doing to her. I wish I could do something but I am too scared to stand up to him. I have tried, I really have, to talk to him in his quieter moments, but it always ends the same way with him shouting at me.
He’s never hit me, though
I am sure he’s wanted to. I can’t say the same about my daughter though, as he does smack her sometimes. I can’t take any more of this but lack the courage to change it. I feel like a coward. Please help.
“My needs, and those of our daughter, became completely subservient to his. My daughter is terrified of him, and I hate what he’s doing to her
Time to get out
Your marriage isn’t failing, it’s failed. In fact, I suggest it never was a marriage in any meaningful sense of the word. It’s been nothing more than domestic abuse and slavery.
It IS possible to move on. Each year, thousands of women and their children escape destructive relationships. To help you do this, please contact Refuge (refuge.org.uk).
This organisation can provide safe, temporary accommodation for you and your daughter.