Read­ers weigh in on chronic late­ness

Post Tribune (Sunday) - - Puzzles -

Dear Read­ers: I re­cently ran a ques­tion from “Prompt In-Law,” who re­ported that her beloved daugh­ter-in-law was chron­i­cally late. In my an­swer, I sug­gested that the MIL should speak with her frankly about it, con­tinue with their on-time plans and take sep­a­rate trans­porta­tion to avoid frus­tra­tion.

I’ve re­ceived hun­dreds of re­sponses to this let­ter. With the holiday sea­son ap­proach­ing, I thought I would share read­ers’ ex­pe­ri­ences. Here is a sam­pling:

Dear Amy: I have strug­gled with time op­ti­mism (OK, chronic late­ness) my en­tire life. I know it is dis­re­spect­ful of oth­ers and I feel ter­ri­ble when I am late.

I try to get seven things done when an­other per­son would rec­og­nize there is only time for five; I un­der­es­ti­mate the traf­fic; I run back into the house for an item I for­got every time I leave the house (and some­times sev­eral times).

I have two points to share for par­ents of dis­or­ga­nized chil­dren.

1) Try not to yell when you are late. I’m al­ready anx­ious, and yelling means every thought falls out of my head. Wait for a qui­eter mo­ment to cor­rect a late child.

2) Try to teach your child to break down the process of leav­ing the house into steps. “We’re leav­ing in 15 min­utes. Did you pack your bag? Do you know where your coat is? Do you have a wa­ter bot­tle?” As she gets older, try, “We’re leav­ing in 15 min­utes. Tell me what you need to do be­fore we get out the door.”

— The Time Op­ti­mist

Dear Amy: I used to run 20 to 30 min­utes late for ev­ery­thing. I ra­tio­nal­ized that I was just busy. One day, a close and brave friend con­fronted me when I was late for lunch. “I cher­ish our time to­gether, but your chronic tar­di­ness is rude and be­neath you,” he said. “And the un­avoid­able con­clu­sion is that you think your time is more valu­able than mine. Please think about it.”

I did, and though it took time to break habits, I changed ... to my great ben­e­fit.

— Tom in Win­ter Park

Dear Amy: My ex-hus­band was al­ways late to so­cial func­tions, and he’d make a scene by loudly blam­ing me to other guests. We had two ve­hi­cles, so I started de­part­ing on time in the car, and he got to drive up late in the ratty old pickup truck. It soon broke him of his chronic late­ness.

— Prompt

Dear Amy: I also have a chron­i­cally late rel­a­tive: my sis­ter. In 60-plus years, good old “Slow-Stop-and-Re­verse” hasn’t changed. But I have learned never to ask her to bring the ap­pe­tiz­ers.

— Tol­er­ant

Dear Amy: I think your an­swer to “Prompt In-Law” was in­ap­pro­pri­ate. My brother was also late for ev­ery­thing, and my par­ents and my si­b­lings did as you sug­gested: We went on with life know­ing that even­tu­ally “Tom” would ar­rive.

Fast-for­ward a few years. He had grad­u­ated from col­lege and started his busi­ness ca­reer. He was di­rected by his su­per­vi­sor to at­tend a very im­por­tant meet­ing, and he was late. When he ar­rived, his su­per­vi­sor’s boss said, “Don’t worry, Tom, we waited for you. Ev­ery­one in this room re­al­izes that your time is much more valu­able than theirs. Now that you’re here, we can be­gin to­day’s agenda.”

At his salary re­view, this in­ci­dent was noted. Tom was rarely late there­after.

— Al­ways Be Aware

Dear Amy: Here’s how we solved the prob­lem with my brother-in-law’s fam­ily one Thanks­giv­ing. We had in­vited them for a cer­tain time. Both fam­i­lies had small chil­dren. They were sup­posed to join us at least 15 min­utes be­fore we sat down.

When they hadn’t ar­rived, my hus­band said they were rude and we would go ahead and start the spe­cial din­ner I had pre­pared. When his brother’s fam­ily strolled in 45 min­utes later, we had started our desserts. They were shocked. They were never late again!

Dear Amy: We were friends with a cou­ple who were al­ways late, so when I in­vited them to din­ner, I told them to come an hour be­fore I planned to start serv­ing. For once in their lives, they were on time — and I was in the shower!

— Tol­er­at­ing Late­ness Now

Copy­right 2018 by Amy Dick­in­son

Dis­trib­uted by Tri­bune Con­tent Agency

ARIES (March 21-April 19) — To­day is an 8 — A chal­lenge re­quires dis­ci­pline and vision. A dream could come true. Stick close to the ba­sic struc­ture. Ex­pe­ri­ence pays. Col­lab­o­rate with more tal­ented play­ers.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) — To­day is a 7 — Stud­ies and ex­plo­rations ben­e­fit from or­ga­ni­za­tion and fo­cus. Re­search a long-term goal. Fol­low an in­tu­itive thread. Ac­tions taken now have long-last­ing value.

GEMINI (May 21June 20) — To­day is an 8 — Op­po­sites at­tract. Come to­gether for shared profit. Dis­ci­pline pays off. Co­or­di­nate your plan for max­i­mum ef­fi­ciency and ease. Make some money to­gether.

CAN­CER (June 21-July 22) — To­day is an 8 — Work with a part­ner to ad­vance. You in­spire each other for cre­ative ideas that wouldn’t other­wise spark. Put prom­ises in writ­ing, and sched­ule ac­tions.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) — To­day is an 8 — Fo­cus on your work and health. Dis­ci­plined ef­forts win. Prac­tice your moves, and build your game to new lev­els. Feed your­self well, and rest deeply.

VIRGO (Aug. 23Sept. 22) — To­day is an 8 — Cre­ativ­ity comes eas­ily. Prac­tice your game with dis­ci­pline to grow your skills and raise results. Let ro­mance flower. Share an in­ti­mate mo­ment with some­one fas­ci­nat­ing.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.