Bummed out
James cocks up while eliminating teething troubles
This time last year if you’d suggested I would be commuting to work in a Citroën DS, I wouldn’t have believed a word of it. A few weeks of driving the same route at the same time each day appears to be tickling the fancies of both myself and that of other road users. Any old car in modern environs is a welcome sight but I have noticed normally seething office workers waving me out of side turnings and breaking out into affectionate smiles. It feels as if my fellow townsfolk are being cheered by the sight of this big Citroën each day. Naturally, Audi drivers are immune to such happiness and aggressively tailgate with predictable commitment. I am – as you are in your classic – a nuisance obstacle to be eliminated.
I concede, one particular driver was perhaps justifiably miffed when I conked out on the way home from work recently. My unexpected deceleration caught him by surprise and he very nearly used the sloping rump of the DS as a ramp on which to launch himself into the trees. As I spluttered to a halt at the roadside, he made the customary ‘gesture’ and continued on his way towards the rear bumper of his next victim. I had fuel issues. And fuel issues of my own making. I managed to nurse the car home, whereupon I set about kicking myself profusely for the rest of the evening. How on earth could have been so stupid? Outwardly, the tank looked shiny and new but following a 35-year period of sitting around, a few weeks on the road and a couple of tanks of petrol had caused the fuel to slosh around, dislodging the internal rust. Naturally, all of that sediment had begun to get sucked into the carburettor.
I ordered a new tank. Once again, with the expert direction of Barry and Pete from the Bourne Citroën Centre, replacement was straightforward. The tank itself lives in a compartment inside the car, protecting it from the elements and helping to give the DS its aerodynamic belly. Unbolting a cover underneath the rear seat reveals all.
Holland bound
Concern for the ailing starter motor was justified, as it had become increasingly limp as the weeks went by. Use of my newly-acquired lithium jump starter became more frequent – extra juice evidently providing the oomph to wake up the engine – so we changed it, dropping in my
‘The Citroën is cheering up my fellow townsfolk’
refurbished Powerlite unit. I had been keen to get the car to Citromobile in Holland – a Beaulieu-style autojumble for Citroën owners. It would mean a run to Harwich, a Stena crossing to Hook of Holland and a short blast to Amsterdam. With Barry and Pete in tow – along with friends and fellow Citroën Car Club members Alan Kemp and Mike Cottingham – this would be the car’s first long distance journey since returning to the road.
A restful sleep aboard ship was followed by an equally restful waft to Citromobile, where to my surprise, they had rarely seen a D Series as basic as this. With no clock, fixed headlamps, manual steering and flat 2Cv-like door cards, a couple of Frenchmen insisted my car was ‘taxi spec’. Many D models have, over time, been ‘Pallas-ified’ by having sumptuous Pallas interiors fitted. ‘Your car is an unusually-original and basic French-built UK spec right-hand drive model,’ commented visiting DS guru Nigel Wild of the Citroën Car Club. Egbert Meeter, of the ‘DS Technisch Team’, a group of volunteers who teach owners how to maintain their big Citroëns, was keen to help me get to the bottom of a misfire. ‘Many people will claim the carburettor is at fault, but mostly it’s ignition timing.’ The only technical hitch? A flat battery, thanks to yours truly leaving the lights on overnight. We were saved by the aforementioned Draper Tools lithium jump starter that, since we had all forgotten our mobile phone and tablet chargers, served also as a pocket-sized source of power. It also meant I could throw away my bulky old jump start pack and free up more boot space for Dutch supermarket wine. On our return to Britain, I resumed the daily commute and began to think about the next adventure – to Austria. My previous intention, to keep the car preserved and protected in the garage for special occasions have gone straight out the window. Garage queen?