Sam Glover
Sam sells the benefits of resisting the urge to upgrade
Sam says just leave things be! Modifications shouldn’t be necessary.
‘Cool your engine by bolting a fan to your fan pulley’
We’ve always dedicated a lot of pages to promoting classic upgrades and modifications. In the name of balance, I thought it was time to dedicate one page to promoting bog-standard parts. I’m not saying that upgrades are a bad thing – they do, of course, have advantages. Many of my cars make good use of the products I’m lampooning. I’m just saying that there are two sides to every argument…
Contact breakers
This elegant system performs the same function as electronic ignition, yet it uses only simple moving parts. Points contain no non-serviceable integrated circuits and have a clever built-in diagnostic system – flick them with your finger to see if they’re working.
Mechanical advance
Tired of poring over advance charts and messing around with USB cables? Fit a standard distributor. It’ll work perfectly out of the box. If you feel the need to monkey with the mechanical advance, you can do it with long-nose pliers instead of a laptop.
Water-based coolant
A 2:1 water and ethylene glycol mix is your classic’s OEM coolant. It’s backwards compatible with all cooling systems and it contains all the anticorrosives you’ll ever need. Best of all, it creates a warning cloud of steam at little over 100°C, so it won’t exacerbate cooling problems by allowing your car to drastically overheat.
Hot starting salvation
Hot starting issues? Change your condenser. If that fails, work out what’s wrong with your fuelling and/or cooling system. Exhaust wrap and ceramic coatings are almost never the answer.
Aural calm
Does an obnoxious tinny rasp wake your neighbours and drown out The Archers on motorways? A standard-bore mild steel exhaust is the solution. Is there an undignified rorty noise on acceleration? Fit a standard air filter.
Standard suspension and tyres
Does your car crash and creak over bumps and skip around on rough roads? Is the ride harsh? Does it scrub out tyres? Try standard springs, shock absorbers and rubber bushes. Or does it have heavy steering, lose traction unpredictably and guzzle steering and drivetrain components? Try wheels and tyres of the size stated in your manual.
Factory fuelling
Does your engine idle like a cement mixer, splutter and lurch around town, quaff petrol and run sweetly only above 5000rpm at full throttle? You need a standard camshaft and carburettor. Enjoy a perfect balance of performance, driveability and economy calculated by the very people who designed your engine.
Unadulterated braking
Spare yourself the effort of converting to disc brakes and fitting a remote servo – plus the future effort of finding rebuild kits for non-standard parts. Instead, simply service and adjust your drum brakes. If they don’t work well and your car was made after 1920, you’ve done it wrong.
Mechanical fan
Banish electric fans that turn noisily on whenever you least want them to, Heath Robinson mounting kits and tangles of extra wiring. Cool your engine by bolting a fan to your fan pulley.
More revs
Why fit an overdrive or a Ford Type 9 gearbox when you can rev your engine higher? Fuel economy won’t necessarily be worse and treating it to a 4500rpm cruise from time-to-time will do it a world of good.
Rubber bumpers
Give your MGB or Spridget a fresh modern look by fitting rubber bumpers. Impress the opposite sex by bouncing off things in car parks with impunity. n
Sam Glover spends his spare time breaking down in exotic locations around the world. He also tries to maintain a fleet of 50 obscure classics, from Anadol to Žuk.