Sam Glover
Weird car names of the world – from Assol to Zwerg
There have been weird names for weird cars. Mr Glover is your guide.
Japan
Engrish is a rich source of bizarre names, providing such garbled wonders as the Suzuki Every Joypop Turbo, Mazda Scrum Wagon, Toyota Deliboy, Honda Life Dunk and Mitsubishi Toppo BJ Wide (‘BJ’ stands for ‘Big Joy’, obviously). Isuzu has the SUV market covered with the compact MU Wizard (‘MU’ stands for ‘Mysterious Utility’) and the less modest Bighorn.
Daihatsu’s marketing department clearly had a dirty-minded streak, giving us the Scat and the Naked – respectively a utilitarian off-roader and an odd mash-up of cute shopping car and Hummer.
People's Republic of China
Hongqi has built stately cars for high-up party members since the Fifties, but it moved towards the mainstream in 1988 with a range of third-generation Audi 100 clones bearing evocative names such as CA7180A2E and CA7242E6. The Huandu CAC was an unpopular Morris Ital with Sherpa suspension. The Citroën Fukang – a licence-built ZX – sold far better, and the range was expanded to include a saloon and a limousine named the Fukang VIP. The Fuqi Conqueror was an odd cross-pollination of two generations of Toyota Land Cruiser.
Geely has established itself as the recent market-leader in weird names, offering the Beauty Leopard coupé, the King Kong saloon and the PU Rural Nanny pick-up. Chery is a close second with its Windcloud, a recycled SEAT Toledo. The facelifted version was renamed the Flagcloud and exported with surprising success as the Amulet.
America
The US automotive industry can’t use the language barrier as an excuse for the unreliable-sounding AMC Gremlin, the uncomfortable-sounding Ford Probe or the adulterous Dodge Dart Swinger. The Mohs Ostentatienne Opera Sedan was the delirious Sixties vision of eccentric inventor Bruce Baldwin Mohs, but it proved too ridiculous for anyone to consider buying.
The 1910 Gaylord was offered in saloon and utility forms by the Gaylord Motor Car Company in the town of Gaylord, Michigan. The 1955 Gaylord Gladiator, meanwhile, was an unrelated super-luxury sports car with Batmobile-like styling. In South America, the Brazilian marque Gurgel built a fairly successful range of small cars, trucks and lumpen buggies between 1969 and 1994.
The Eastern Bloc
The 1988 Tarpan Honker was the swan-song of Polish manufacturer FSR. This robust off-roader was widely considered to be a decent effort, finding favour with farmers and the military.
In Russia, the Izh Oda was an awkwardly-styled but well-engineered rear-wheel drive hatchback and the Doninvest Assol was a licence-built Daewoo Lanos. It’s thus perfectly acceptable to walk into a Russian garage and ask for lubricant for your Assol or report a problem with your Oda.
European microcars
There’s something a bit creepy about the globular Brütsch Zwerg, which translates as ‘dwarf’ in its native German. The Italian Volugrafo Bimbo was a streamlined 125cc two-seater launched in 1946 and the Casalini Sulky was a late-sixties box on three wheels with a grumpy face.
In Britain, the Frisky Family Three MKII was a bit of a mouthful and the later Frisky Prince brings to mind paparazzi photographs of lewd antics on yachts. More recently, the French Assystem City Car failed to attract serious interest when unveiled at the 2007 Geneva Motor Show.
Top honours, though, go to the Cock Cockpit 70. Cock NV of Assen, the Netherlands, manufactured small three-wheeled commercial vehicles between 1950 and 1974 – and the 1970 Cock Cockpit was an enclosed two-seater passenger version. Tragically, only one prototype was completed.
‘The Cock Cockpit 70 was manufactured by Cock NV of Assen, the Netherlands’