Top Trumps
We deal ourselves the best cars for the ultimate game of Top Trumps
The PC team choose their dream hand for one real-life card game.
Making a card game out of simple technical specifications was an inadvertent stroke of genius. At a single deal, it hooked in a whole generation of statistically fascinated boys. And it was mainly boys, of a mechanically-minded persuasion, who would play the games… endlessly, until it was time to go home for tea.
We’ve dealt ourselves the hands we always dreamt about, describing why our Trump of choice works best for us. We might not win the game with the cards we’ve chosen, but that doesn’t matter. Our cars fill us with the kind of enthusiasm that lead us to play the game in the first place. Plus, now we are grown-up boys, we can own the cards in the metal.
The 993 reinvented the concept and philosophy of the 911. Always an interim model while the ‘new generation’ Boxster and 996 models were in development, the 993 nonetheless succeeded beyond Porsche’s wildest dreams. Success came as a result of its curvaceous good looks (compared to the boxy 964 predecessor), new rear suspension and exceptional build quality.
More than two decades on, the 993’s appeal is also heightened because it represents the last 911 series to be powered by an air-cooled flat-six engine – the seemingly bulletproof Mezger motor (named after the design engineer who laid out the original power unit back in 1963).
In terms of our game of full-scale Top Trumps, the 911 is strong in most categories. I chose it as I knew it would be the quickest car here, both in terms s of 0-60mph time and outright top speed. Plus it’s got four-wheel drive… that’s got to be worth bonus points!
Unlike most of its Nineties sports car contemporaries, this is a classic that makes you adapt to it. Right-hand drive cars have slightly offset pedals and the layout of the switches and stalks could never be described as ergonomic – but it’s a layout you soon learn to accept. Despite the power steering and brakes, it is a physical car to wrangle, too.
And it is all the more satisfying to drive for it.
How do I get one?
The 993 range was extremely well made in period but, as even the newest example is now 21 years-old, you need to know that any potential purchase has been cared for properly, especially given the way that prices of air-cooled 911s have risen over the past decade. The best sign of that is a full service history, with all work carried out by OPCS or independent Porsche specialists.
Porsche Club Great Britain is a great place to start on your hunt for a decent 993. Sign up and become a member, then start getting to know other owners and soaking up their knowledge and experience. Often the best cars don’t even make it to the open market, but instead are sold via a network of fervent enthusiasts.
Like many older models, the 993 thrives on being driven and there have been several cars that have reached 200k miles before any major engine work has become necessary. But cars that are stored for long periods or cover very low mileages usually develop fluid leaks and can develop damaging corrosion in the suspension and engine ancillaries.
And there I was, thinking I could outsmart my colleagues with something roomier and more economical than their showy, gas-guzzling leviathans. Annoyingly, I was forgetting something: Top Trumps is all about the BIG numbers. Had the game been created in our more socially conscious times, my five seats, five doors, huge boot capacity and (comparably) environmentally sound choice would have resulted in an epic David vs Goliath victory for the diminutive Renault. But this is the Seventies and Eighties, when power matters.
The boxy R4 is a candidate for greatest automotive design in history. It is utilitarian perfection with incomparable packaging, comfort and the effortless ability to swallow five people and their luggage. Yes, I would be the pitiful loser in a drag race and would be left far behind in the exhaust fog of almost a-thousand horses combined. But while my colleagues will doubtless triumph in a willy-waggling contest, I’d soon be passing the Jensen, Jaguar and Porsche smugly waving my one and only trump card from the sliding window of the little Renault. How? While they’re queuing at the filling station for the umpteeth time, I’ll be butting the horizon with a big smile on my face and a bootful of hay bales and sheep.
How do I get one?
If low purchase price were a factor, the ‘Quatrelle’ would trounce the other three cars here as the little Renault is still very affordable, given its status as ‘iconic people’s car’. Having sold more than eight million examples worldwide (the R4 is the most produced French car of all time), there are enough out there to keep the market buoyant – although you need to look in the right places for them (especially in the UK, where rust saw many a RHD example heading to the scrapper in the Nineties). The Renault Owners Club and Renault4.co.uk are both good places to start. A grand will get you a solid project car and you’ll pay around £3500 for a good post-1978 1108cc GTL – less for left-hand drive imports.
Unlike the rival 2CV, some Renault 4 spares can be hard to come by so factor in a few visits to France – either online or in person – for parts. However, construction is reassuringly simple and they’re easy to work on, so take a little time to learn ‘fluent R4’, make friends with the (excellent) club and you’ll have few headaches when it comes to either restoration or maintenance. Plus, you’ll smile wherever you go. That’s what classic motoring is all about, right?