EV­ERY­THING YOU NEED TO HOARD TO GET YOUR JUNK PILE RIGHT

Practical Sportsbikes (UK) - - On the Bench -

Let’s talk about hoard­ing. Be­lieve me, this is just as much for my ben­e­fit as any­one else’s. Per­haps by tak­ing about it we’ll all get a han­dle on the prob­lem. It’s a slow build from a few ex­tra spares to some­thing that would ri­val a boom­ing break­ers yard – one with­out any sem­blance of or­gan­i­sa­tion; a lit­tle like the al­co­holic who started out as a so­cial drinker be­fore go­ing street drunk.

The ex­tent of my own habit – hoard­ing that is, rather than booz­ing – was re­cently con­firmed as be­ing even worse than I knew it to be when I had to clear my old work­shops for de­mo­li­tion. Don’t worry, I am hav­ing a new one built.

Not only were there parts for bikes I no longer owned, there were spares for bikes I have never owned. For ex­am­ple I found half a dozen Yamaha TZR250 ra­di­a­tors. Al­though these I can al­most ex­plain away as they were part of a job lot of spares I bought be­cause I wanted the stuff that the TZR has in com­mon with the TDR. But six ra­di­a­tors? Come on. Less easy to ex­plain was a Yamaha XS750 seat unit. I have never owned an XS750, and in­deed I hope I never will.

Then there were two af­ter­mar­ket screens for a Du­cati 916. I would like a 916 but can’t imag­ine what use two af­ter­mar­ket screens might be. So I kept one along with a car­bon­fi­bre tank guard. Maybe I’m get­ting a bit bet­ter, like mov­ing from the top shelf to the beer pumps.

It wasn’t all em­bar­rass­ing bad news. Some of the old Brit stuff I’d

“A SMALLER WORK­SHOP MEANS THE ONLY JUNK THAT STAYS WILL BE PRE­MIUM JUNK”

hoarded fetched strong money when I put it to on­line auc­tion. Pretty good given the tight-fisted na­ture of your typ­i­cal old Brit bike fan, for whom the only thing that should go up in value is their old oil drip­per it­self. I do have three feet in that camp still.

So what have I re­solved? If I don’t know what I’ve got, I prob­a­bly shouldn’t have it. On the other hand, some parts are bet­ter than money in the bank. So I’m tak­ing a phys­i­cal cure. The new work­shop will be smaller than the old one, so the only junk that stays will be pre­mium junk. Alan See­ley

Alan (just out of shot) has been busy tidy­ing up his back gar­den. It’s done now

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