‘Now, I can be proud of who I am’
Janette Benaddi, 52, says ‘When Frances said, “Shall we row an ocean?” I said yes immediately. I didn’t think about the safety – I was 49 and wanted to know whether or not I could do it.
I liked the idea of a physical challenge but I was unfit. I’ve always struggled with my weight and, at nearly 14st, “going to the gym” wasn’t in my vocabulary! I was lent a rowing machine, which I’d use in front of the telly and, when the race got closer, I visited a personal trainer twice a week. I knew I was strong mentally, so I trained hard and got fit. I then lost 2st on the trip thanks to all the rowing and a diet of powdered food!
We’re all strong but in very different ways. One thing I brought to the boat was the determination that we’d get there. I left school at 16 and worked as a receptionist while going to night school to qualify as a nurse. Then I got my teaching certificate and eventually built my own clinical trial company. I also run a property business with my husband, Ben.
None of us wanted to be skipper – the person who would be responsible for the boat and crew’s safety – but the three girls chose me. Everything on board was democratic, and we all learned to do every job, such as navigation, but being skipper meant the buck stopped with me. If I made a mistake, our lives could be at stake.
For more than two years, everything was about getting to the start line: raising the cash, figuring out equipment, doing various courses. It was completely all-encompassing. But on the boat, I learned to enjoy the moment. The night skies were fabulous, filled with billions of stars, and watching the whales and dolphins was amazing, too. We’d stop rowing and look at them because we weren’t racing – we always knew we’d just be happy to get to Antigua.
We had a lot of fun and laughter – it really was beautiful to be out there. We also all got to know each other well – not surprising considering that we often rowed naked from the waist down to minimise blisters!
I did have low points. You can’t row an ocean without feeling frightened.
The first time a whale came past, I had a moment of thinking, “If he hits us with his tail, we’re a goner”. The two safety yachts were at least a week away. Apart from missing Ben and our children (Safiya, 15, and James, 19) there was one windy night when, at 3am, Helen and I couldn’t turn the boat around. We were so close to capsizing that we had to get the other girls to help. I felt like I failed and fell asleep crying, but when I woke up the sun had come up, and I thought, “It’s a beautiful day, let’s plough on” – and I did.
SENSE OF PRIDE
Seeing land for the first time in nearly three months felt like a dream. I broke down when I saw Ben’s face and realised how deeply I loved him.
I also came to the realisation that it no longer matters what other people think of me. I’ve spent my whole career trying to prove to other people that I am worthy. It’s not that rowing 3,000 miles across an ocean makes me special, but it makes me good enough. I can be proud of who I am, and not striving to be someone else.’