Remember to praise

Life is competitive, and ambition is nothing to apologise for. My dad is competitive and a very bad loser, and Andy and I are, too! Jamie was always happy to play as much as the opportunities would let him, but his younger brother Andy wanted to win at everything – from board games to dominoes – and if he didn’t, he would stomp off in a fury.

Nowadays, children often learn to win and lose in private through video games, where the opponent is a machine who won’t argue, swear or even react. If the child loses, they can simply switch off their TV or computer. But real life isn’t like that.

It’s easy to be encouraging when things are going well, but it’s being there through the tough times that counts. I’ve had to learn to handle the losses as well as the wins, but I’ve always told the boys that the most important thing is to try their best.

I coach lots of children whose parents shout and rage at the referee or, worse, at their child. This is detrimental to their development. You can’t let them see your anxiety, disappointment or frustration. If a child stops enjoying something, chances are, they’ll give it up.

As a parent, it’s crucial to maintain a calm and supportive demeanour regardless of the result – a trait I’ve inherited from my dad. I try to follow the example he gave me as a little girl: praise your child when they’ve done their best, and focus on the positives.