‘I’m not the perfect parent…’

When she’s not seeking out the best properties in the UK on TV, Kirstie Allsopp is pouring her heart into her passion for craft. With her nationwide Handmade Fairs coming up this month, Kirstie chats to Prima about her love of keeping busy, her projects a

Cover star Kirstie Allsopp opens up about crafting, kids and her fear of an empty nest

Kirstie, 46, lives in west London with her partner, Ben Andersen, sons, Bay, 12, and Oscar, 10, and stepsons, Orion, 19, and Hal, 16.

THE POWER OF CRAFT

The Handmade Fair is a real force for good. I think at the moment, there’s this feeling that the world has gone mad. It’s just this slight sense of not feeling grounded and I think the whole craft thing really helps with that. It grounds you in your home, it makes you feel in control and it calms you down. On the surface, you can say, ‘What reason is there in the world for a needle-felted robin?’ And I get that. But at the same time, you just think, actually, everything that surrounds you is, in some way, a derivation of a craft.

Social media and modern technology are very beneficial to the craft community. That said, neither of my children has a smartphone and they’re not going to in the foreseeable future. I don’t think social media is suitable for children, I think that feeling of, ‘Oh, I wish I’d been invited to that,’ or, ‘Oh, my friends are doing something fun without me,’ is very damaging. So, I think that craft does really take you away, it’s a way to switch off.

I constantly have craft projects on the go around the house. I fixed a black lacquer frame with some hair dye the other day – it looked brilliant. We once fixed a broken chandelier and replaced part of it with a £9.99 crystal salad bowl from our local bric-à-brac shop. I’m always mending things. Through doing all the shows and learning the things I’ve learnt, every time I buy something, I know the process of how it was made or know I’ve done that process myself. It’s a really nice part of learning about crafts.

Craft is everywhere, it surrounds you and there are definite trends, like journaling and scrapbooking, which have been huge for a while now. The boys do a lot, too. Their grandfather paints with them and they go to pottery classes on Mondays after school. Admittedly, they like blowing things up, too – they’re boys. There are hacks on Youtube, like ‘How to take Coca Cola cans and turn them into a mini barbecue’ and they both took a can, by themselves, and made a mini barbecue. I do not lead a Swallows And Amazons life. I’m not the perfect parent, but I think that if you let children free with wood, knives and matches sometimes and nails, screws and drills sometimes, they rarely – touch wood – do themselves any harm and they learn so much.

ALL ABOUT PROPERTY

It drives me bananas when people say we have a national housing crisis.

We don’t. It isn’t national. The crisis is in certain parts of the country. My colleagues in Scotland are able to buy in a way that my colleagues in London aren’t. We need to think outside the semi, we need to be more imaginative about what it is possible to build.

I also believe there should be a massive tax break for people who downsize. Anybody who is downsizing should be able to give a chunk of money to children or grandchildren tax-free in the event that they are then buying property with it. Because at the moment, I think, there’s a limit to what you can give. I’d encourage children to go to university locally. There are cities with great universities all over the place. I work with a lot of young people in dynamic jobs who don’t think London is the centre of the universe and it’s interesting how many fun careers, increasingly, will be outside of London.

ON LOSING WEIGHT

I’ve not entirely kept it off. [Kirstie lost two stone with the help of nutritionist and author of Eat. Nourish. Glow., Amelia Freer.] The winter was not particularly good, so over the next three to four months, I’d like to lose a stone and a half. I said frivolously to a friend the other day, ‘Oh, I lost two stone and put a stone back on.’ I don’t think I actually did put a stone back on but I don’t weigh myself, I totally judge it by my clothes. I had a lot of dresses taken in and then I put one on yesterday and was like, ‘Ooh’ [tight]. There are three very basic rules to losing weight: three meals a day, never eat between meals, and five-hour gaps between eating are absolutely key. I think that’s why Amelia Freer’s advice is so good; she says do not snack, understand hunger and it’s not bad for you. Never eat late at night. Ever. Always have 12 hours of not eating.

MY CAREER AND ME

I must be the least glamorous person on TV in terms of people’s perception of me… but it’s a huge privilege that Phil and I have this extraordinary relationship with the public. I was walking down the street this morning and a tree surgeon called out: ‘Morning Kirstie!’ The children were like, ‘Do you know him, Mum?’ It’s lovely that people are so friendly. One of the sad things about the craft fair is that I have had to ban selfies. Instead, I say, ‘Give your phone to your friend, you stay here and chat to me, I’ll find out your name and we’ll talk and your friend can take a picture at the same time.’

FAMILY LIFE

Our family’s in a really good place at the moment. Hal’s done his GCSES. Orion did his A Levels last year and he’s now deciding what he’s going to do next. At the moment, he’s tutoring in London, so we’re seeing a lot of him, which is really nice. Bay and Oscar are happy at school. I’m sure that at some point, they’ll stop talking to me and go absolutely monosyllabic. The thought of having an empty nest is terrifying. Not only am I terrified, but everyone around me is terrified of what I might be like. I’ll have no excuse for not working in the school holidays. In fact, I’ll never have any excuse for not working. Basically,

I’ll have to get a proper job. It’s why

[as a parent] you shouldn’t be afraid

Craft grounds you in your home, it makes you feel in control

of doing something with your children. There’s going to be a point when you have so much me-time on your hands, you’re not going to know what to do with yourself. They just grow so fast, it’s heartbreaking.

Ben and I have been fortunate to make a considerable amount of money and I want my children not to have to do that. If they want to be a teacher, midwife or research scientist, I want them to be able to do that. The privilege of the money we’ve earned is that the kids can do what they like, but I’d be horrified if they didn’t work and wouldn’t give them a penny. I’d be thrilled if they lived nearby, teaching at a local school while I looked after their children; that’s my dream scenario. I hope the fact that they’re okay [financially] gives them freedom to do good things.

RELATIONSHIP SECRETS

I get asked all the time about Ben and I getting married. ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,’ is my feeling on it. We’ve both got to a point where we’re superstitious about it. I also think people have become obsessed by weddings, and marriage has got lost somewhere along the line. One of the secrets of a successful longterm relationship is being nice. Also, realise that different people have different talents. Recognise what the other one does – lightbulbs get changed in my house, yet I don’t do it. Ben is good like that. He’s not great at getting up in the morning or knowing what the children need for school – that’s not his forte.

It’s also important to say sorry quickly.

LIFE LESSONS

I’d tell my 20-something self: ‘It will be okay.’ You will get what you want, it will be okay. Something surprising may happen along the way. My 20-year-old self would be pretty shocked that I am unmarried, have two stepchildren and am on telly. I don’t know which of those three things would have shocked me most. One of the most important things I’ve learnt would be to say no straight away and reply to emails as soon as you can. Don’t be tortured that you’re having to say no to something. People just want an answer. And your life will be easier if you reply to your emails straight away.

Kirstie Allsopp presents The Handmade Fair, Hampton Court Palace, 14-16 Sept. Book tickets at thehandmadefair.com