The one book that changed my life!
Reading has the power to transport, comfort, inspire and sometimes even set us on a different path – as these women discovered
Reading not only has the power to transport you, but also to transform you, as these four women found out
‘It brought hope to my family in our darkest hour’
A children’s book became a saviour for Jo-anne Shellum, 36, from Birmingham
‘His young voice filled the room, the words crystal clear… “Big NB Hare settled Little NB Hare into his bed of leaves. He leaned over and kissed him goodnight. Then he lay down close by and whispered with a smile, ‘I love you right up to the moon – AND BACK!”’ You could feel the emotion, friends and family sitting in awe as my son, Ben, 12, spoke. It was 13 April 2017, my wedding day to Kevin, and our oldest boy had just read from the book Guess How Much I Love You by Sam Mcbratney.
For those of you who don’t know it, it’s a wonderful children’s story about two nutbrown hares competing to measure their love for one another, ending with Big Nutbrown hare’s ultimate declaration that he loves Little Nutbrown hare ‘to the moon and back’. It’s a tale that so many enjoy but for Kevin and me, it holds an extra-special meaning. Because, for us, it will always remind us of Noah, the little boy we lost…
It had been a shock in April 2015 to discover I was expecting twins. Kevin and I had both always wanted a second child but then to realise there were two coming at once sent us into a tailspin of fear and excitement. How would we cope? Then, at 25 weeks, I went into premature labour.
Within three hours of arriving at hospital, I’d given birth to Oscar, first, weighing just 1lb 12oz, and then Noah, 1lb 10oz.
The boys needed neonatal intensive care and were placed on life support at Birmingham Women’s Hospital. I longed to hold them but they were so desperately fragile that all I could do was sit by their incubators. Noah had a complex heart condition. He was too small for an operation and wasn’t going to survive. I broke down as the doctors told us, and when the nurses laid our baby in my arms, I cuddled Noah for the first and last time as he slipped away, just 30 hours old.
Kevin and I were devastated but had to find the strength to focus on Oscar.
At just three days old, he’d suffered a stroke. I didn’t know how I’d get through it all but then one of the hospital staff gave me the book, Guess How Much I Love You, as part of a bereavement pack given to grieving parents. As I read it, I found comfort in the book’s simple words, a metaphor for a parent’s unconditional love for their child. I’d sit by Oscar’s incubator and read to him, a way of communicating our love for him and the precious brother he’d lost.
During the three months Oscar spent in hospital, I read it to him every day and night. I knew every word. And when he was allowed home in October 2015, it came with us. Realising we now had to care for a disabled child was overwhelming.
The stroke had left Oscar with cerebral palsy that affects the left side of his body. He can walk but he’s unsteady, his left leg and foot turn in and he doesn’t have full use of his left arm and hand. There’s no cure but he has physio to help him and, in every other way, he’s a bright, clever three-year-old boy. The book is his favourite story and if I ask him ‘how much do you love me?’ he replies ‘to the moon and back’. And, of course, Oscar was there at our wedding when Ben gave the reading, our tribute to the little boy who’s always with us.
In 2016, I set up a not-for-profit community interest company called Sociability Care that supports people with disabilities and their families. And, last year, I launched the Noah’s Star project, raising funds to buy a copy of Guess How Much I Love You for every sick and premature baby at Birmingham Women’s Hospital. After the despair we felt when Noah died, it brought hope to my family in our darkest hour, and I want other families to fall in love with it the way I did. It’s Noah’s legacy.’
‘I found comfort in the words, a metaphor for a parent’s unconditional love’