‘Yes, I’m having a mid-life crisis!’
Cover star Mel Giedroyc on spray tans and braces
Mel, 50, lives just outside London with her husband Ben Morris, a television producer, and their two daughters, Florence, 16, and Vita, 14. This year, she’s swapping TV for the stage in a production of the Stephen Sondheim and George Furth musical, Company.
LOOKING GOOD AT 50
I’ve recently got braces. I think it’s a mid-life crisis writ large! I’ve had so much mickeytaking and I’ve always said, ‘Oh, I’ve got terrible 1970s teeth.’ I’d say my siblings and I have got the worst teeth in Britain. My beloved sister Coky, five years older than me, had hers done three years ago. I was secretly slightly seething because I knew she was going to have a set of cracking gnashers. And they do look really, really good.
My dentist has been desperate for the past five years to get his hands on these old ’70s gnashers. But I promise you, they won’t be straight, Osmond-like, bright white things. It’s just to help me through the mid-life crisis. They’re absolute ruddy agony. You feel like your head is in a vice and there are metal brackets that dig in, so I had the worst ulcers. I went to a wedding about four days after having them done and I looked like I’d had massive fillers in my lips because they were so swollen. It was really embarrassing but, now, it’s all good and I love the braces.
I really got into spray tans, as well. I had them done for a play I was in that was set in Sicily. It was the best. I now totally understand why people on Strictly get addicted to them. I was addicted, but I’m through that phase now. You feel like you’ve been on holiday for a week when you’re done. You look at yourself and feel relaxed. I didn’t feel tired, and had loads of energy. But my husband started sending me carrot emojis. My kids were so embarrassed. Also, because you get hooked quite quickly, you want to look darker. You get a bit bold, and I ended up with extra-tanned cheeks. It wasn’t good. But I had to sit down and promise the kids I would no longer have any spray tans.
I don’t like to think of myself as a vain
person, I have no reason to be. People running marathons, that’s kind of a bit of vanity, isn’t it? You can dress that up and say you’re suddenly thinking about other people – no, it’s because you want to be lean and get rid of the bingo wings. Let’s be honest! [Laughs]
Besides the braces, I’d never have any other work done. You don’t need Botox, just get a fringe. Fringes are key.