‘Relationships are easier the older you get’ Prue Leith opens up about finding happiness through romance
Writer and Great British Bake Off presenter Prue Leith talks about the secrets of her marriage and why you may be surprised if you visited her kitchen
Prue, 79, lives in the Cotswolds. She’s married to former fashion designer John Playfair, who is seven years her junior, and has two grown-up children – a son, Danny, from her previous marriage, and adopted daughter Li-da. This month, she’s releasing her eighth novel, The Lost
Son, the concluding part of her family saga trilogy, The Angelotti Chronicles.
MAKING DREAMS HAPPEN
Not a lot of people know this, but writing a novel was a long-held ambition of mine. I first dabbled in writing at school, penning a play that the student drama group performed (how proud I was!), and always longed to do more. But it wasn’t until I was heading towards 50 that I thought, ‘Right, it’s time to actually do this.’ I’d been running my restaurant and catering company, Leith’s, for many years, I was writing newspaper columns and cookbooks and, while I enjoyed doing it all, I realised that if I didn’t let a few things go, I’d forever be saying, ‘I just don’t have time.’ So I sold the business, put my cookbooks on hold and started writing. Eight novels later, here I am. I truly believe that anything is possible if you put your mind to it.
This trilogy is a story of love, adoption and how it feels to be the ‘outsider’. During the war, a poverty-stricken couple are forced to put their baby up for adoption and don’t see him again… until this book, The Lost Son. He’s now a 55-year-old successful business-type who’s a little messed up and comes crashing into the lives of a close-knit family who run their own restaurant. Let’s just say it causes a bit of disruption.
Adoption is a subject very close to my heart. My husband, John, was adopted and very recently started the journey of looking for his birth mother. I know the incredible power of love for an adopted child, too, because I have one of my own. Almost all of the food stuff in the book is autobiographical. The highs and lows of being in the restaurant business and facing bankruptcy, I know it all too well. They do say write about what you know, don’t they?
I write everywhere. On the train, in the back of a taxi – I’ve even been known to do it in the ladies’ loos at a boring cocktail party! But I’m most focused when I’m at my kitchen table. I’m very organised and put a plan on the fridge that says how many hours of writing I need to do in order to reach my word count – then I allocate the days and times I’m going to write. The closer I get to the deadline, the earlier I start. So when I’m sat at the kitchen table at 4am, you know I’m close!
My goal is to get this trilogy made into
a TV drama. I’ve been trying to do it for a few years, but it’s like getting into the film business – you get somebody who’s interested, then they move jobs and it all falls down. I don’t want to speak too soon, but I’ve just started working with a lovely TV company, which has been great fun.
FOR THE LOVE OF BAKING
Paul, Sandi, Noel and I are all in line to return to Bake Off later this year. The lovely thing is that we’re in touch all the
‘I truly believe that anything is possible if you put your mind to it’
time outside filming, so it never feels like it ends. John and I went to see Sandi in her one-woman show recently, and I even gatecrashed one of Paul’s cookery shows in Birmingham – that was a laugh! We all have a Whatsapp group where we post life updates, too. The best messages are when Noel sends us pictures of his little girl, Dali – simply adorable.
It feels wonderful to suddenly be in
such demand in my 70s. I feel like I’ve had a mini revolution every 25 years of my life. I had 25 years with my catering company, 25 years writing novels and now Bake Off has made me feel like I’ve got this whole new career in TV. I’m not sure I’ll get 25 years out of it, but I’ll certainly give it a go. In recent years, there’s been a huge revolt by women not wanting to stop – I’m definitely part of it.
Most people hate being recognised in the street, but I actually enjoy it. My favourite encounter with a fan was when I was doing Great British Menu. A woman in the supermarket came up to me and said, ‘You’re the lady off the TV – I have to say, I don’t agree with you about that lemon tart.’ She was furious with me – and I was speechless!
My own kitchen probably isn’t what
you’d imagine. I’ve had the same one for about 40 years. I upgraded it eight years ago but didn’t give it some big overhaul – I just removed the Aga, replaced the cupboards and had an island built. I’m not mad about fancy gear and I’m quite parsimonious. I’ve had most of the furniture in my house for ever.
TYING THE KNOT AGAIN
One thing I never dreamt was that I’d get remarried at this stage of my life. When my first husband, Rayne, died in 2002, it was incredibly tough. I adored him and we had a very happy marriage, so it didn’t occur to me that I might eventually be with someone else.
Then I met John seven years ago and somehow he changed everything.
As strange as it sounds, John wooed me with haggis. I love the stuff. Not long after we first met, he invited me over one evening and cooked me dinner. It was delicious, but he hadn’t made it himself of course – it was Macsween’s best!
Tying the knot after five years together felt hugely comforting. It’s a declaration to the world that you’ll hold each other’s hands for ever. I’m still amazed he was happy to marry me because he’s seven years younger than me, so he’ll likely be pushing me in my wheelchair one day!
Neither of us wanted the pressure of a big wedding, so we did it at a register office in Scotland – where John’s from – and asked a couple of friends to be our witnesses. John wore his kilt and I wore a pale blue embroidered jacket with a pair of John’s trousers. Yes, I’m serious about the trousers. I couldn’t find any that were suitable and John had this white linen pair that pull together with a string. At least it meant I ticked ‘something borrowed’ off the list!
The day was anything but ordinary. We had a wonderful lunch – I had oysters for my first and main course
followed by treacle tart. After the ceremony, we climbed up Arthur’s Seat (a historic hilltop in Edinburgh). The only problem was that I was wearing high heels – going up was fine, but coming down was another story and I ended up barefoot. How glamorous!
When we got home, we threw a big street-food party for all our friends and
family. We ordered a truck serving fresh Persian wraps and had a gourmet burger bar, an ice-cream van and a coffee van. We had them all parked in the driveway and everyone stood around on the gravel eating, drinking and chatting. It was brilliant.
MAKING MARRIAGE WORK
I think relationships get easier the older you get – at least they have in my experience. You get to a certain age and you’re no longer trying to change people. For example, John is amazingly untidy and, apart from trying to train him to shut the back door so the cold doesn’t get in, I don’t try to change anything about him. I just think to myself, ‘He’s untidy and I have to pick things up after him, but it’s worth it.’ When you’re young, you’re trying to mould somebody into what you want and it’s crazy. As for John, he says I’m so anally tidy that one day he’ll find himself in the dustbin. It also helps that we still have separate
houses. I’m not saying we’ll live apart for ever, but we’ve fallen into a routine that works well for us. We sleep at my house, then he goes off to his in the morning to do some gardening or whatever he fancies. We reconvene for lunch at mine, then do our own thing until about 7pm when we have supper together. It’s great because he’s not underfoot – and best of all, all his clobber is at his house! How do you keep a toyboy happy? John says fishnet tights, but I don’t even own a pair of the things, so he’s longing for something he’s not going to get! Feeding him is the honest answer. John once told me that he didn’t think he’d ever had the same food twice. That’s because I feed him leftovers. I’ll open the fridge and think, “What can I do with all this?” And he hasn’t complained yet.
LOOKING GOOD, FEELING GREAT
I hate the fact women are made to feel the way they present themselves has to change when they turn 50 or 60 or 70. Why should it? I see so many women my age or younger dressed in grey and black. I’m a believer that wearing bright colours and jolly necklaces makes you feel better – try it and see how you feel.
My confidence secret is a good pair of
specs. I discovered a company called Ronit Furst when I worked on Great
British Menu and I’ve worn their glasses ever since. I’m launching my own range with them in May, which I’m very excited about. They can add the perfect finishing touch to an outfit.
If people think I look good on the outside, it’s because it’s coming from
within. The secret is being happy. I’m not in particularly great shape. I’m not saying I’m unhealthy. I never eat in excess and I’m big on fresh produce, but I’ll have cream and bread – all the bad stuff – and I like a couple of glasses of wine most nights.
I’m turning 80 next year and I’m already organising a big celebration. You’ve got to go big, haven’t you? The plan is to go fly fishing on the River Naver in Scotland – I love fishing. I’m taking 10 friends on a little steam-driven, coal-fired boat – the last of its kind – and we’re going on a little jaunt. I can’t wait!
• The Lost Son (Quercus) is out now. For more information about
Prue’s eyewear range, visit ronitfurst.com
‘You get to a certain age and you’re not trying to change people any more’