AND WHEN TO LEAVE...

Despite all your best efforts, some relationships need more help. Relate counsellor Simone Bose offers advice.

WHAT ARE THE RED FLAGS THAT MEAN IT’S TIME TO WALK AWAY?

Domestic abuse, physical or emotional. If your partner is violent, consistently makes you feel controlled, like you can’t speak your mind or like you have to change your actions to accommodate their behaviour, these are all red flags and it’s important to seek support.

DOES AN AFFAIR MEAN IT’S OVER?

Sometimes, ending the relationship is in the best interests of the couple or family. But, it’s possible to rebuild trust, particularly with counselling. This takes time, effort and open and honest communication about what led to the affair and how it can be addressed to reduce the chances of it recurring.

WHAT IF THEY REFUSE TO GO TO COUNSELLING?

Talk through their concerns. Perhaps consider individual sessions. If your partner sees they’re helping you, they may agree to come along. Some think counselling is admitting failure, but it’s actually a positive step.

IS IT BETTER TO STAY TOGETHER FOR THE CHILDREN?

Research tells us that parental conflict is hugely damaging to children. If you aren’t able to address problems in a marriage, staying together may be doing more harm to your children than good.

If you do break up, try to keep things as amicable as possible for their sake.

• Relate offers individual and group counselling. Call 0300 003 0396 or visit relate.org.uk.