The cards that meant so much to us…

‘We started to appreciate our strengths and weaknesses, and that whatever happened, we were a team’

1999 Finding ‘The One’

This was my first-ever Valentine’s card to Anthony. Both journalists, we got together in 1996, after sharing a cab home from the work Christmas party. When Anthony broke it off after a couple of months, I was devastated. Then a year later, he confessed he’d missed me and we got back together, marrying on 4 September 1999. This card was me saying we’d both found ‘The One’.

2001 Just the two of us

Whenever I could, I made my own Valentine’s card to send a message that our relationship was unique. I love 14 February and had adored getting cards from my mum, and making her handmade ones in return. So with Anthony, I had the perfect excuse to go big! This card illustrates my determination that the intoxicating newly wed feeling would never wear off. Little did I know!

2002 First-time parents

From the start, Anthony and I wanted children. But the previous year, our longed-for baby had miscarried at three months. Anthony was so supportive, holding my hand through the tests and the procedure that followed. We were incredibly lucky that I got pregnant soon after with our daughter Lily. I remember this as the happiest time ever; I felt our daughter was the ‘ultimate Valentine’ to the man I loved.

2003 When baby made three

The words on this card were taken from a song Anthony used to sing Lily in a silly voice when she was a toddler. As she got older she started to join in, and it always made us laugh because she would put on the same funny voice. This card was adapted from an early design for our wedding invitation, but the fact that the card was signed from Lily rather than me, hints that children were now starting to take centre stage in our marriage.

2006 Stress and arguments

By now, we were facing the first proper test in our marriage. Anthony and I went to New York as correspondents for the newspaper we worked for. It sounds impossibly glamorous, but the reality was very different. I fell pregnant again and the night before our second daughter was born, I was up working until 3am. Anthony and I had our first serious row about how to get the balance right between family and work, and after Clio arrived, I gave up my job and we came back to the UK for a more balanced life.

2008 A time to be sentimental

For me, Valentine’s cards are about returning to the core connection, the organic love you have for each other, which is why I must have been attracted to these words: ‘To the apple of my eye… the cherry of my heart… the mango of my soul… I love you!’ I’m not normally gushy, and they’re not words I would write, so I probably felt grateful the card was saying them for me!

2011 It’s about teamwork

Everyone wants their partners to be proud of them, so getting this handmade card from Anthony particularly touched me. I had started writing parenting books, and this picture was taken at the launch of my third. We are very different personalities; to outsiders, he looks more laid-back, while I come across as more driven, but we manage to make it work. I love this card because it shows a new phase of our relationship in which we started to appreciate our different strengths and weaknesses, and that whatever happened, we were on the same team.

2012 Key to my heart

I got the idea for this card on a holiday to Italy, when I saw couples putting padlocks on railings as a sign of love, and thought it was so romantic. This card says Anthony and I are stuck with each other but that’s okay because we are a good fit!

2013 Strong foundations

By now, Lily was 11 and Clio was eight, and we were feeling a little bruised. Anthony lost the job he adored in a devastating round of redundancies, and although he quickly got another one, he never loved it as much. The financial pressure was building, and often we were two ships that passed in the night, so I particularly value this card from Anthony. It was a photo taken on our wedding night and shows us looking so elated and in love. An apt reminder that our relationship was built on a solid foundation.

2016 The food of love

In this year, Lily and Clio decided to go vegan, and I followed soon after. As Anthony is the cook in our house, he felt daunted knowing what meals to prepare. That’s why this card means such a lot. After some lively rows about what we were going to eat, this image of two avocados asking for a cuddle was just what I needed. Now Anthony is the most amazing vegan cook, which has made me appreciate him even more. I love this card because it reminds me of the start of a journey that is very important to me.

2017 Remembering happy times

The teen years were kicking in hard with our daughters. These pictures were taken from a perfect day we’d had in the park when they were very young, a reminder of how much easier life with them used to be! It’s also a favourite because Anthony put ‘beautiful’ on it, and what wife doesn’t like to hear that from her husband?

2018 Blast from the past

In 1998, Anthony and I had flown to New York. When we got to our hotel, I was ready to go to bed, but he insisted we headed out to a restaurant he had booked. I understood why when, over dessert, he popped the question. I didn’t hesitate. This photo was taken a few days later, when I was still getting used to the idea of feeling so grown-up. When he used it on this card two decades later, it brought back memories of how cosy and how in love I felt.

2019 Feeling proud

I made these triumphant figures of Anthony and me as we approached our 20th wedding anniversary. Now that the children were older and we’d got through some of the toughest parts of parenting, I felt we had good reason to feel proud about what we’d achieved and how far we’d come as a couple.

2020 Strong bonds

As soon as I saw this image online, I saved it to make into a Valentine’s card. It sums up what marriage is all about; Anthony and I may be separate identities and personalities but, underneath that, we have an unbreakable bond.