‘I’m learning to live in the moment’ Kirstie Allsopp on what keeps her smiling in lockdown

Presenter Kirstie Allsopp on her life lessons and how crafting has had such a huge impact on her mental health

Kirstie lives in London and Devon with her partner, Ben Andersen, and sons, Bay, 14, Oscar, 12, and stepsons, Orion, 21, and Hal, 18.

A CRAFTY QUEEN

Crafting and the concept of making things were really important in my childhood. I think that’s where I got the bug. Both of my parents were painters, and my mother made things all the time – sewed dresses, altered clothes, created dolls’ clothes and painted furniture as well.

My father was an auctioneer, and my mother was a picture framer by trade. She made mounts and framed pictures. There would be porcelain in the house, there would be silver, not so much arts and crafts, more fine arts. Any holiday would involve a trip to a museum, and that was absolutely embedded in me. I didn’t see myself as someone who created – I saw my parents as very talented. I bought and would save up to buy things that other people had made. I didn’t particularly do things myself, but I was very interested in them.

When I started on Location, Location,

Location, if we stopped anywhere, I would be like a rabbit down a hole into local antique shops or craft shops.

My producer Sarah noticed, so when I bought my house in Devon, she came up with the idea for Kirstie’s Homemade Home. We’d planned to just focus on crafters, and at the very last minute she suggested I should do it with the crafter, so people could see me learning. I was thrown in at the deep end, from a height, with a big splash. But when I started doing things, I absolutely loved it, and realised the immediate satisfaction you get from making something.

I think crafting has a huge impact on your mental health. You feel so much better about the world when you’ve done something with your hands. I get a similar high from cleaning. That said, I’m not interested in dusting at all. There’s an endorphin rush from producing something, making something, but also from creating order. And I take enormous pleasure from displaying talented people’s things.

My favourite thing to do is sew, both by hand and on a machine. I also love fixing things and mending them, taking them apart and putting them back together. The more I do my own projects and meet people through work, the more I understand the processes involved in making things. The idea of going to a high-street shop and buying modern furniture is just not my way of doing things. I suppose the joy for me is knowing and appreciating how something has been made.

Not every project goes to plan. I’m never doing any kind of stone-carving

‘I’ve learned that you should grab the opportunity and have a walk when the sun is out’

again in my life. We did that on one of the shows, and I vowed not to repeat it. Some of the projects we did on Keep Crafting And Carry On were more successful than others, but we were very honest about that!

The thing I love most about the craft shows is that we had so many talented

people showing us their work. It’s always a real joy. When we made things, viewers would send in pictures of the version they had made – and it was so much better. It was brilliant to inspire someone to do something and have them take it to the next level.

FAMILY COMES FIRST

My boys are going through a massive gaming phase at the moment. All bets are off as far as any previous restrictions [I’ve imposed] are concerned. It’s difficult, because kids are not in contact with their friends as much, so anything that enables them to have that communication is good. They want to be online. Having tools like House Party and Snapchat have been really helpful for the kids, as it helps to keep them sane.

When we did the lockdown show last summer, the kids were very involved with it all. For the first time ever, I had them on camera and they absolutely loved it. We still do projects together, but I’d be lying if I said that right now, during lockdown, we were in a craft oasis, as far as the boys are concerned.

I really held out as long as I could against my sons having phones.

My son was almost the last in his class to have one, but I wish his younger brother had one earlier. It’s one of the most difficult things because there are many positives and negatives, and it’s incredibly difficult for parents to navigate. It continues to be an area of dispute and contention. How much time is too much? Children’s screen time is something I think parents lie about. I know that it’s considered good parenting to restrict it, and I think people say they control it more than they actually do. But we also know that the people involved in these industries do not allow their children to have these devices. So we have to really question what all that’s about.

With the coronavirus, my biggest fear is the damage done to young people’s

mental health. We have to look very carefully at the impact on young children educationally and emotionally, in terms of their social interaction. Generally, my sons are coping okay. They’ve both had coronavirus and their father as well, in March. My aunt had it, and my sister, too, and she now has long Covid, which is miserable. My mother was 66 when she died of cancer. My father-in-law was 86. The children know about death, and they know that people do die, and for lots of different reasons.

As a family, we’ve always been very close, even before spending so much time together in the pandemic. We all have shared interests, and we’re very happy in our own company. It’s difficult as the boys get older, their friends become more important to them, and friends become more important than their parents. That’s natural and we have to accept it – but it’s actually quite hard to get used to. They just grow too fast. I do struggle with the kids getting older.

I’m really lucky in my relationship with Ben. We haven’t struggled in lockdown. I know loads of people who have, and I feel really sorry for them. I’m not saying that everyone doesn’t have up or down days, when they’re irritated by their partner or their partner is irritated by them, though. Ben and I share interests, we both love antiques and crafts, and I think that really helps. In Devon, we have Murano glass chandeliers, and I’ll come down into the kitchen in the morning and find Ben in his dressing gown with the chandelier in bits, carefully washing them all. He’s a brilliant father, a generous friend, and a really positive spirit.

RELAXATION, RELAXATION, RELAXATION

For me, I find the most relaxing thing is just pottering around the house. Tidying, cleaning, doing laundry. There’s quite a lot of it with the boys here! If you change the sheets every week, if you wash the towels every other day, if you are slightly fastidious as I am, you don’t ever want to turn around and see any dust. There’s toilets to clean every day, and baths to be washed every day. There’s not a rota in this house. Ben’s very good with the bin and he does the hoovering, but the lion’s share of the domestic tasks fall to me.

That said, before lockdown, I’d have to make sure the house was completely tidy

before I left it. Now I’ve learned that you should grab the opportunity and have a walk when the sun is out. I’m one of those people who tidies up on the basis that I hate leaving the house messy in case I’m run over by a bus. Now, if I can see the sun just coming out, I go for my walk. I think it’s being kind to yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t had a complete character change, but I am learning that you need to stop tidying and start prioritising.

Another lesson I’m learning is to live in the moment and to treasure everything. I’m learning that slowly, and probably too late, to some degree. Generally, I’m quite controlling and my life is planned out regarding all the things I do from day to day, but with Covid, there were certain things I couldn’t control and I just had to accept that situation.

‘I still wear perfume, get ready, the whole thing’

LIFE LESSONS

This year, I’m turning 50, but I’m not one of those who thinks this is in any way a positive. If I could change my birth certificate, I would! As you get older you creak more, and you wrinkle more. Youth is to be treasured and admired. So I’m not dwelling on the big birthday – I’m shoving it right under the carpet.

I’ve become more frightened and anxious about things as I’ve got older. I used to say things and think ‘as long as you always tell the truth, and you believe what you say, that’s all that matters’. Now, I think there are people out there who, for their own gain, cause trouble and shout people down. It’s not good enough sometimes to try to be honest and true, and empathetic and understanding of others’ circumstances. There are people who realise that anger gains them clicks; fighting, feuding – whatever the newspapers call it – they do it for sport and personal gain, and I think it’s unpleasant.

MY LOCKDOWN LIFESTYLE

When I’m working, I have a trainer who comes to the house at six in the morning. He comes at least three days a week and I hate it, but I take my exercise incredibly seriously when

I’m filming. I find it’s one of the best ways of dealing with stress. That, however, stopped in the first lockdown. I didn’t intentionally let go, but I definitely thought I was doing more exercise than I was. I wasn’t doing regular walks, and you have to do something that gets your heart going every day.

Each to their own, but I didn’t let myself go during lockdown. I can’t be doing with that! I get up, I blow-dry my hair… I don’t think it’s fair on Ben, apart from anything else. I still wear perfume, get ready, the whole thing. The idea that I might have stayed in bed this morning and worked from there just makes me feel itchy! Your bed is for sleeping in and occasionally, on a Sunday morning, reading a magazine and having a cup of coffee, but not spending the working day there. Just no!

It’s not in my DNA to lounge around in casual clothes. The slobbiest I get is my nightie and a nice dressing gown.

I’ll admit that I always have the same nightdresses. I buy them from the same place. I just have masses of the same one and I do sometimes not get dressed until I finish doing things. So I might get up, put my dressing gown on, potter about the house doing things and not get dressed until I’ve tidied up. Being up to my neck in scented water is one of my number-one ways to relax. But

I’ll only have a bath if there’s a degree of order in the house and I’ve gone around and cleared up.

I still absolutely love my job and adore Phil Spencer. I couldn’t be more devoted to him and what we do together, and we got cracking figures for the new series of Love It Or List It.

I think we all like seeing things and people who are familiar, especially now. Admitting that I’m proud of what I do is something I didn’t used to feel able to say.