Could you be a foster parent?
It’s Foster Care Fortnight from 10 to 23 May. Here, we look at this important role of opening your home, and heart, to a youngster in need
We look at what it really takes to give a home to a vulnerable child
Almost 55,000 individuals or families currently foster more than 65,000 children*, yet more of these incredible carers are needed. ‘Like any workforce, employees join and leave, and that has been especially true over the past year when people have had to shield or faced other shifting responsibilities,’ explains David Eggboro of The Fostering Network. ‘We need a variety of foster families, so we can place children with not just any family but with the best family for them.’
But what does fostering really involve? Prima takes a closer look…
WHO CAN FOSTER?
Almost anyone can potentially become a foster carer, barring those with serious convictions, as long as they have a spare room that the child can call their own.
‘One of the biggest myths is that there is a typical foster carer,’ says Andy Elvin, chief executive of TACT (The Adolescent and Children’s Trust). ‘We have people in their 20s and their 70s. Some go into it when they are retired and have more time. There is always a shortage of people to care for teenagers, as well as for sibling groups and children with learning disabilities. We really want applications from everyone, whether single or in a partnership, with children and without, from BAME families and those from the LGBTQ community.’
Children may stay with the same foster family for years, with the Trust’s average placement lasting around five years.
Everyone is put through a rigorous assessment process with a social worker before they can become foster parents. Taking around five months, it looks into every aspect of the person’s life, including their childhood, career and relationships. They might be asked about their experience with children and how they might handle particular challenges. Where potential families have children of their own, they too would be involved, to ensure that the whole family is happy to go ahead.
THE REWARDS
‘Foster carers tell us they get a huge amount out of it,’ says David. ‘As part of a child’s life, any challenges you help them overcome, you overcome, too. Good foster carers will turn a child’s life around, whether that’s being a positive role model on which to base future relationships or showing them they can achieve anything they put their mind to.’
Of course, taking in a child who is unable to live with their own family and
‘Good foster carers will turn a child’s life around’
may have experienced trauma calls on huge reserves of understanding and resilience. Carers also have to deal with navigating the relationship between the child and their birth family and working alongside social workers. And in most foster families at least one parent usually needs to be at home, which may mean giving up a job. ‘It’s daunting for the child going into a house of strangers and for the family it can be daunting dealing with what the child has been through,’ says David. ‘But foster carers are resourceful, flexible and resilient, and are prepared to tackle challenges that arise.’
Becoming a foster parent can be tough for the carer’s children, who find themselves having to share their parents. However, many also say that they have learned a lot from it. Some fostering services run groups that support sons and daughters of foster carers.