‘She brought us joy amid terrible grief ’
Rebecca Taylor, 39, from Rayleigh, Essex, and her husband had suffered a terrible loss. Could they really trust a new life would change everything?
‘This baby had given us hope after such a sorrowful time’
The consultant’s words rang inside my head as I sat in the hospital ward with my fiancé Carl and his family. Carl’s mum, Caroline, had been suffering from headaches and forgetfulness, and we’d been hoping an MRI scan would reveal the cause. Only now, hearing the diagnosis, we were devastated. Caroline had a massive tumour covering half her brain. ‘I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do, the consultant explained.
I was barely able to take it in. Carl and I were due to marry in two months and Caroline was so looking forward to it. ‘Will I make it to the wedding?’ she asked. Carl was her youngest child and ours would be the last of her
children’s weddings. It’s why it meant so much to her and we couldn’t imagine her not being there.
The consultant said she’d be given medication to prolong her life, and Carl and I, along with the rest of the family, vowed to do all we could to help.
While the whole family cared for Caroline (who everyone knew as Lou), we kept on with our wedding plans, hoping it would give her strength. But tragically, just two weeks before the day in August 2015, Lou died, aged 61. We were all heartbroken, and her funeral was held two days before our wedding.
We knew delaying our wedding was the last thing Lou would have wanted, so instead we honoured her memory with love and celebrations. We had a canvas of photos of her at the aisle and top table, so it felt like she was with us.
A month after our wedding, I became pregnant, but the early months were difficult. I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum, and was so sick I had to be signed off my job as an assistant head teacher. Carl was particularly anxious, as he was still reeling from the sudden loss of his mum. At times, he wouldn’t even touch my bump because he didn’t want to get too emotionally attached.
I’m very close to my own mum, but felt so sad this baby would never know her other wonderful Nanny.
Having coffee together one day, Carl and I were reflecting on everything we’d been through and saying this baby had brought us so much hope. It was a lightbulb moment: we both agreed on Hope as a name if our baby was a girl.
Hope was born in July 2016 and it was Carl who told me, with an enormous smile on his face, that we had a daughter! We gave her Caroline as a middle name to honour her Nanny, and she is so like her. Not just her auburn hair; now age five, she’s also inherited Lou’s caring nature and love of puzzles. We now have another daughter, Francesca, two, and more than anything I wish their Nanny could be here for them: she would have been so proud. Losing Lou was terrible, but I know her spirit lives on in Hope.