WHAT’S IN A BRAND?

In a group and strapped for cash? Rick’s got some sponsorship ideas!

The closest I ever got to a sponsorship deal was way back in the 1990s when Kaliber was pretty much the only non-alcoholic beer on the market. They gave me a dozen bottles for every show on the proviso that I put their banner up somewhere, which I duly did. Unfortunately Kaliber wasn’t really that well-known, unless you were teetotal, so all it did was confuse most of the audience who thought The English Rock Ensemble had been renamed Kaliber.

Unless you’re a huge name, and preferably female, it’s tough to get any form of sponsorship these days, so it set me thinking which companies would pair up the best with rock and prog bands. I thought Viagra would be a winner for the Stones, although they probably produce it naturally anyway. Yes certainly deserve sponsorship and I think Solvite wallpaper paste would be perfect to help the band, ahem, bands paper over the cracks.

There are countless acts that hair restoring lotions could sponsor. They could even sponsor bands that wear hairpieces so there are even more promotional opportunities. Let’s just make up a totally fictitious band called The Wedge. Now, just think of the possibilities. A hair replacement company could supply them all with wigs and then halfway through a specially organised acoustic concert, they could whip off their toupées. The concert could be advertised as

The Wedge Unrugged!

SlimFast or Slimming World could certainly sponsor a lot of “elderly” acts, myself included, but they would expect to see results… so that rules that out. Preparation H could have a field day with the incredible amount of drummers they could sponsor. Specsavers could pick and choose as there’s hardly an old rocker in existence who can actually see the edge of the stage these days.

Divorce lawyers should certainly get involved with rock’n’roll sponsorship. They’ve had so much money from artists over the years that the music industry must have pretty much paid their wages and given them all the nice mansions that musicians have lost in their divorces!

In retrospect, I’m beginning to understand why there’s so little sponsorship in prog. However, if anyone from Beck’s Blue happens to read this, my UK tour still has another month to go!

“Solvite wallpaper paste would be perfect to help Yes paper over the cracks.”