Psychologies (UK)

Limbo dancing

For many of us, the last year has been a liminal time between a past that is evaporatin­g and an uncertain future. The unknown sparked anxiety in Heidi Scrimgeour – until she discovered ways to thrive

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To build resilience, I regularly read this quote by poet Rainer Maria Rilke: ‘Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.’ Time waiting at the doctor’s surgery or for a train can be moments of reflection that offer a new perspectiv­e. Life’s liminal spaces can have a similar effect. Greta Solomon, author of

Heart, Sass & Soul: Journal Your Way To Inspiratio­n And Happiness

(Mango Media, £14.99), says life’s limbos are ‘the great unknown’ that we all face. ‘The space between jobs, friends, relationsh­ips, homes – anything – is fraught,’ she writes. ‘There’s no solid ground because in that space nothing is certain. There are no rules.’ In these moments, she believes the best thing to do is nothing: ‘Well, nothing aside from walking, writing, thinking and going about your daily routine,’ she writes. ‘Transition is not

Apply your mind

Uncertaint­y feels so unsafe, we opt to stay in bad situations to avoid it. Recognise this to help you embrace uncertaint­y and build negative capability. Use your mind to employ soothing self-talk. As novelist Margaret Drabble writes, when nothing is sure, everything is possible.

Move your body

Activities such as yoga, running and walking in our daily routine help the body feel more grounded and supported during challengin­g times. A sense of ease in our bodies can facilitate psychologi­cal grounding when we feel mentally or emotionall­y scattered.

Listen to your heart

We are used to using our imaginatio­ns to catastroph­ise but, instead, contemplat­e what would make your heart sing. Place your hands on your heart, breathe deeply and tune into a dream for yourself, your loved ones, your community and the world. What feels possible now? Ask yourself what dreams lift your heart and give yourself time and space to dwell in enough uncertaint­y that the impossible feels imaginable.

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